I have this friend, Minelle.
She is rather a stubborn lady. She is sweet and loving and all of that, but she worries about everything and refuses to take time to rest and care for herself.
Hands up, anyone who agrees. I thought so.
Thankfully, the prayers and good thoughts are helping and her husband has shown his first signs of improvement since the surgery. Praise be!
However. As I have been passing along updates, some of us have commented how much Minelle needs a spanking to make her stop running around and helping everyone else. I mean, really.
I suggested that we take up a collection to buy her a paddle. Ami said only if it’s a pink leather one. Lillie said sure, where do we send the money? Cat said do what you can, but I know that Minelle can be hardheaded in not taking care of herself.
So I chatted with Little Miss Stubborn this morning.
A: You think I’m kidding about the paddle, don’t you?
M: It’s hilarious! You’ve even got people talking about what kinds?
A: Don’t try to worm your way out of this one, missy. Have you gotten any sleep?
M: But (lots of excuses followed by a laugh)
A: You’ll only laugh until the package arrives on your doorstep.
M: Oh my gosh, can you imagine?
A: That’s what we have to do. You know, the…*starting to laugh*
M: What what what?
A: The harder the head, the more you need to spank.
M: OMG! I can’t believe you said that! You HAVE to tell Celeste and Renee that you said that!
A: Huh? Why…?
M: Tell them you said that, or I’m going to tell them.
A: That you’re hardheaded?
M: Just tell them!
A: Um, okay.
M: It’s so funny when we start to say one thing and it comes out sounding like something else.
A: Wait. Did that have another meaning?
M: ANA! You didn’t mean it that way?
A: Um. What way? I was just surprised that you didn’t shriek at me saying you were hardheaded. And needed a spanking.
M: Ana, I am NOT explaining this one.
A: It’s something sexual, isn’t it?
M: Yes. It is.
A: You remember who you’re talking to, right?
M: I said I’m NOT explaining this one!
End conclusion: Minelle needs a spanking.
So. We’re taking up a collection. A la Kickstarter, we will offer incentives to everyone who contributes to Minelle’s Paddle of Doom, to be featured prominently in my upcoming release, Minelle’s Great BDSM Adventure. If you contribute to the Minelle’s Paddle of Doom fund, here is what you will receive:
- $1: A commemorative postcard
- $5: A handwritten thank you note signed by Minelle
- $10: An 8×10 frame-able commemorative thank you certificate
- $25: A personal phone call from Minelle to thank you for helping her to be a good girl
- $50 and over: A compromising photograph of Minelle standing in the corner after her paddling
Time is limited, so sign up now! We want to make sure that Minelle gets the care that she so desperately needs.
*Please note that if this blog goes silent for a few days, it is because Ana has disappeared under the Wrath of Minelle. I hope it’s less severe than the Wrath of Khan.