Authors Behaving Badly: A celebration of naughtiness and spankings

Have you ever known an author who behaved badly? As an author, have you ever behaved badly yourself? As a professional, have you ever had a co-worker who would have benefited immensely from a good spanking?

Have you ever been the co-worker who would benefit from a good spanking?

I’m a people-pleaser and a perfectionist. Those are two difficult qualities to co-exist in the same person. I don’t just want everyone to be happy; I want everyone to be perfectly happy!

Do you see the problem?

For my newest-to-be-contracted book (just signed with Blushing yesterday!), I indulged in some wild fantasy wish-fulfillment. What if I could break free from people-pleasing? What if I were an author who behaved badly? What if I broke rules, didn’t care what people thought, stepped on people’s toes, and threw my weight around because I thought one bestselling novel (hey, it’s fantasy, remember!) entitled me to a lifetime of VIP treatment?

Then, because it was fantasy, I went a step further. What if this bad behavior earned my character what we all know happens to naughty characters, rather than the firing she deserved?

An author behaving badly and an editor who must deal with her.

As Renee says, YUMMY!

But really, the story started with one sentence. I pored through name lists, trying for something easy to pronounce but unusual as a name. One of the suggestions struck me, and as I played around with last names I was struck by an idea so ridiculously absurd that I giggled uncontrollably.

Out of that one line, the entire story was born.

I introduce to you the opening scene of Editorial Board, my third book to be published by Blushing.

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“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms…”

She held out her hand, and I accepted it as if I were enthusiastic to meet this former newspaper editor who knew nothing about my craft. Who had no idea that I was an artist and needed time and space to create my art. I’d get old Merry to fire this loser sooner or later if she interfered with my work. It did no harm to pretend that I would play nicely.

For now.

“Meadows. Spring Meadows.”

At her polite disbelief, I rattled off the usual spiel.

“Yes. Spring Meadows. Parents thought they were brilliant. I have an older sister named Autumn and a younger one named Summer. Thank God they stopped with three.”

“Rachel,” she said, placing her left hand on top of mine to make the shake more emphatic. A strong, no-nonsense grip. “Rachel Templeton. I’m sure we’ll get along wonderfully. My job is to help you be the best writer you can be. Merry’s praised your work to the skies.”

Yeah right, I thought. We’ll see what you say after she fires you.

I turned on my heel to make a smart exit, but she called after me.

“Spring? I’ll need your synopsis by Monday. Merry said your last editor never got it, and it’s several weeks overdue. Thank you.”

I slammed the door on my way out.

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Authors, have you ever behaved badly? Known someone who behaved badly?

Non-authors, have you ever behaved badly at work or known someone who behaved badly? Did you fantasize about spanking the miscreant or being spanked yourself?

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