Tuesday with Ana: On writing my first sex scene

Well.

Bet you had to read that title twice.

Yes, this is Governing Ana. Yes, this is Anastasia Vitsky (who has been dubbed by Jade Cary as “pretty uncorruptible”).

No, I don’t mean the number six in the Latin language. Nor do I mean a shortened form of six babies born at once.

Yes.

That.

A month or two ago, Sue Lyndon and I engaged in our usual teasing. She threatened to tell Mrs. Claus about me (which is supremely unfair); I threatened…well, I didn’t have much to threaten.

So what did I do? What any self-respecting woman would do when she finds herself outmaneuvered: Deflect and distract!

“If you write a F/F scene,” I challenged her, “I’ll write a sex scene.”

“You’re on!” Sue agreed.

“Nothing sexy for you!” I insisted.

Then, a few days later:

“If one of my Fs says that the other F has a shapely rear, does that count as sexy?”

I’d originally meant to give her that leeway, but I was faced with a daunting prospect. All Sue had to do was have one girl smack another. I had to write A SEX SCENE.

Crap.

I’d have called off the deal, but I was afraid of what Sue would say. She’d have fodder for teasing me for at least the next year. Trust me when I say that no one wants to give Sue more fodder for teasing. She comes up with plenty on her own.

What was I to do? I talked to a few of my F/F author friends. Sandra Bunino, who recently published her first F/F book under the name of Scarlet Chastain, gave me advice and sent me an ARC of Bella Key. Virginia Nelson talked me through some ideas and strategies for how to handle an F/F sex scene.

They both read Simple Gifts in order to get a sense for Carene and Leila, and they helped me figure out ways to write the sex that would fit with the story but still satisfy readers.

Focus on the music, Virginia said. Focus on the emotions, they both said.

I talked with Kate Richards. I was concerned about the mechanics of the scene. With Leila injured in her dominant hand, how would the sex work? Should she use some…ahem…aids that would compensate for her using her non-dominant hand?

Sex is more than a laundry list of actions, Kate said.

Hm.

Maybe writing sex is a bit like writing spanking? Is that why people find my stories sensual and intimate, even without sex? When I write spanking scenes, I focus on the emotions and the connections.

Hm.

What I’ve learned in writing my first sex scene is that it’s not actually about the sex. Anyone can write a description of a certain body part manipulating another body part. But to get behind the physical actions and to express the deep connection…that’s what it is about.

I wrote my first sex scene, but I hope that my long-time readers won’t think less of me. I promise that I’m still the same Ana. Come back tomorrow and see for yourselves.

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28 thoughts on “Tuesday with Ana: On writing my first sex scene

  1. Natasha knight says:

    Yay! Congrats. Is there a snippet we get to sample?? Sex is another way to express emotion. It may be hot but it doesn’t have to be in any way less than another method. And we are human. This is a part of this life. I’m proud of you Ana! Now that snippet??

    Like

  2. Bas says:

    Yes, I had to read that twice!
    Made me realize that I would not have a clue how to start such a scene, no matter which kind of pairing.
    Well, it’s good that you are the author and I am just a humble reader.

    Like

  3. Ami says:

    You’re right. Sex scenes have to reach the innermost emotions, they have to kick you in the gut, tie your heart in knots and elevate your breathing to unprecedented heights. Too many sex scenes these days are far too clinical. We all know about the bits that come into play, but it’s what you do with them, how you do it, and the effects on your emotions that count. I look forward to reading yours.

    Hugs

    Ami

    Like

  4. Bob says:

    Hi Ana
    If any one can write a F/F sex scene and do it with good taste it will be you, But I would have loved to see the look on your face when you realized that you had to write a complete scene on it. That must of been priceless.

    Bob

    Like

  5. Roz says:

    Hey Ana, I did have to read the title twice πŸ™‚ Good for you stepping out of your comfort zone.

    I agree, it should be about the emotions and connections. I look forward to reading it. I’m sure it will be beautiful πŸ™‚

    Hugs,
    Roz

    Like

  6. Cara Bristol says:

    And there you have it…sex is about the emotion — it’s what differentiates erotic romance/erotica from porn. You did however, “handicap” yourself by having one character not have the use of her hand. What a challenge for your first sex scene. Congratulations, Ana, you’re no longer an erotica virgin!

    Like

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