On Keeping Your Sex Scenes Fresh
I love finding an author I can sink my teeth into. Okay, not my actual teeth into their actual flesh. I understand how gross and over the top that sounds. I mean I love when I find an author, new to me, that has a large body of work I can dive into. The characters are lovable or tortured in just the right way. The plots are just thick enough, but not so heavy and angsty that I need therapy after just one installment. What can I say, I like my fluff. I love prolific authors. And authors who write about cowboys. Usually once you have me as a reader, you have me as a reader for life. I think a lot of others feel this way. Once a fan, always a fan, barring some crazy behavior and sometimes even then I’ll still buy your books.
But there’s one thing that bugs me a little bit. Not that it happens frequently, but it always drives me a little crazy when I’ve hit the third, fourth, fifth book in an author’s catalog and I realize all of the sex scenes are the same. This sort of thing hasn’t driven me away from an author, but it does make me a little weepy. When I started working on my second book I realized, this was something I wanted to avoid. I wanted my readers to feel like they were reading about a unique sexual relationship, unique to those characters. I never want a reader to feel like they know exactly on what page in my books the sex scenes will start, exactly when they will end and exactly what will happen in between. So here is a little list of sexual dos and don’t I like to consider before I get down to business.
Think about your characters: This is one thing I try to keep in the front of my mind every time I write a sex scene or the build up to sexual relationships. My characters are all different people, even if they carry a small or big part of me. None of my characters are exactly the same. The sex that they enjoy shouldn’t be exactly the same either. Think about what really turns them on and what gets them off. ALSO, think about what grosses them out, even if you don’t write it. The DON’T can help flesh out a sex scene nearly as much as the DO.
Who’s Involved: Are you writing about a man and a woman, two men, or as I often do, two women? Sometimes three to thirty-six women. Things get a little crazy in my book Better Off Red. Think about different sexual identities and gender representations. Two men having sex is different than two women having sex. All relationships should be consensual and healthy, but things will be different. Think about those differences.
Research: Take to Google or your local library. Look up different fetishes. Thing about what the word fetish even means. Maybe you’ll discover more about hand fetishes or foot fetishes. I hate feet, yuck, but that doesn’t mean one of my characters might not be into foot worship or even some very tame toe sucking. Hell, you might even be inspired to write something simple like a morning after scene that starts with a little footsie and turns into full on intercourse.
Research… when there are no small children around: Watch porn. I know it might sound a little silly. Some porn isn’t great and then on the other hand, you might get swept up in, well, watching porn. It happens to the best of us. You’ll watch some things you’ll wish you hadn’t but sometimes all it takes is one short clip to spark inspiration. Porn is good for getting the mental juices flowing.
Inject a little humor: I think it’s totally okay for someone to fall off the bed every once in awhile. Someone can stub a toe. Or snort out a bit during a laughing fit.
Inject a moment of awkwardness: Sometimes sex is awkward, even if you are TOTALLY into your partner. Some people are a bit clumsy. Some are shy. Some people don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings so they take terrible hand job or fingering for ages without saying a word. Sex should be enticing for the reading, but it should also be honest.
Authors what would you add to the list? Reader, what would you like to see more of, or less of? I guess I’m saying, I hope this opens the door to talk and think about the sex.
After years of meddling in her friends’ love lives, Rebekah turned to writing romance as a means to surviving a stressful professional life. She has worked in various positions from library assistant, meter maid, middle school teacher, B movie production assistant, reality show crew chauffeur, D movie producer, and her most fulfilling job to date, lube and harness specialist at an erotic boutique in West Hollywood.
Her interests include Wonder Woman collectibles, cookies, James Taylor, quality hip-hop, football, American muscle cars, large breed dogs, and the ocean. When she’s not working, writing, reading, or sleeping, she is watching Ken Burns documentaries and cartoons or taking dance classes. If given the chance, she will cheat at UNO. She was raised in Southern New Hampshire and now lives in Southern California with an individual who is much more tech savvy than she ever will be. She writes New Adult Paranormal Romance and Erotic Romance for Bold Strokes Books.
Her next BDSM romance AT HER FEET will be release September 16, 2013 from Bold Strokes Books.
Find Rebekah on Twitter: @rebekahwsm