I started writing BDSM erotica years ago. I am in the lifestyle as a sub, and I first started reading erotica to learn about what I might like to try. When I first started I knew so little that I didn’t even know what the questions should be, never mind the answers. The stories I read set me off thinking about what situations I might like to be in. What would be too much, what didn’t interest me at all, but better than that, what did appeal?
It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy a lot of the tales I read. I did actually. Not all of them were very well written but I still enjoyed them for the ideas they gave me. But then I started thinking about writing stories on what I wanted. I could make them exactly to my tastes then, create my own little world where nothing happened that jarred me out of the story because it didn’t work for me.
And that’s how it all began, back in 1998 when I wrote my first story, blushing as I typed, and wondering if I’d ever have the nerve to show it to anyone.
I finally did show it to someone, to the Dom who got me started with all this. He asked me straight out what my fantasies were and persisted with the question, despite all my attempts to get out of telling him, until I wrote him an email which still makes me blush today for the memory of it. After he didn’t run away and tell me I was a freak – always a good thing! – I plucked up the courage to send him my first story and he liked that too.
Then we tried it. Oh boy! That’s perhaps a story for another time, but it led me into the wonderful world of BDSM. I found some amazing, friendly and welcoming people who are still close friends today and who gave me so much good advice. Luckily I was sensible enough, despite the kid in a candy store feeling, to follow it.
But along the way, and sometimes even now, I’ve come across people in both the BDSM and DD lifestyles who seem to think there is a chiseled in granite, handed down from aeons ago, Rules of How to ‘Do’ BDSM/DD. Oddly enough, it always seems to be a set of rules that only they are privy to.
As far as I’m concerned, the only rule of BDSM or DD is that there are no rules. It’s what you make of it and what suits the people (however many there are and of whatever type, sex or orientation) in the relationship. Really, who on earth is anyone else to come along and tell you that what you are doing isn’t BDSM/DD? There are a whole bunch of ‘experts’ out there who are quite happy to tell everybody else what they ‘should’ be doing but, as long as you and yours are happy with what you’ve got, who cares?
And it’s the same for writing.
Whether it’s same sex, opposite sex or several people of different sexes all at once, if it’s realistic for that story and it is well written and makes sense for the people involved, I can’t see why it wouldn’t work. Whether it fits neatly into any one genre or not.
It’s all about the characters, isn’t it? Would they do that? Would they really say that? And if they would, if it’s consistent, what’s the problem?
I know Ana has faced this and overcome it with her non-traditional tales of FF spanking with no sex, and I’m hoping it works for me with a book I want to have published by the end of the year.
It’s my first full length novel, The Undomesticated Subby, which the characters from Coming, Ready or Not, my latest release, are taken from. It probably won’t fit neatly into some categories because it’s not how erotica ‘should’ be done at all but I’m still going to write it. I may well have put some people off already with the title as a lot of people don’t like the word ‘subby,’ but it fits for what I’m doing.
It’s a traditional romantic comedy with all the ‘will they, won’t they’s and things going wrong, but about a couple developing a Master/slave relationship. There may even be only one sex scene right at the end (because, of course, they *will* – got to have a happy ending!).
And some people will hate it, because it’s not their idea of what this kind of book ‘should’ be. I know that already, but hopefully enough people will love the story of two people who have been best friends for years discovering a Master/slave relationship – after a few trials and tribulations, of course. But even if they don’t, even if no-one reads it at all, I’m still going to write it. Just for me.
That’s the thing. You know what stories you have inside you. You know what you want them to be, and, whether they fit the traditional idea; whether they fit the ‘should’s or not, write them!
The biggest thing I got from being in a D/s relationship was knowing that I was completely accepted for exactly who I am. Not because I’m perfect or I don’t have any faults – believe me, I do – but purely because he let me be me, whatever that meant. Even on my bad days.
And again, I think that applies to writing, whether the acceptance of what you write is from yourself or the people around you. But it also applies to the lifestyle that we choose to live, whatever that means for us. The world would be a nicer place if there weren’t so many cliques and so many people busying themselves with telling everyone else that they’re not doing it right.
Maybe one day we’ll get there.
In the meantime, I hope you will live how you want to live; write what you want to write, and don’t let anyone tell you that what you’re doing isn’t the true and only way.
When not writing about delicious, hot male dominants and the female subs who love them, I’m usually doing something craft-like, reading, baking, eating the results of said baking, and attempting to satisfy the demands of His High and Mighty Dominance (the cat!). My first story, Imagine, was published with Silver Moon Books last year and Coming, Ready or Not is my first solo book. The Journal, co-written with Domitri Xavier, is out soon.
Coming, Ready or Not! is available from Amazon US – http://amzn.to/14aeYm2 and Amazon UK – http://amzn.to/135xK03.
You can follow me on my blog – www.liv-honeywell.com, Twitter – http://www.twitter.com/LivHoneywell or Facebook –https://www.facebook.com/LivHoneywellErotica and my Amazon page is here: https://www.amazon.com/author/livhoneywell