Monday Morning Fika with Thianna D: Dominant Bottoms and Submissive Tops

As readers of erotic fiction, we like to think of our dominant males/females as dominant in the bedroom as well as out of it. And, in the same vein, our submissive males/females submissive both in and out of the bedroom. But that is not necessarily so in real life – nor does it need to be in literature.


For the sake of this article, I will be using the following terms to denote certain characteristics. Whatever they mean to you outside of this article, put that aside for the next 500 words or so.


Dominant – An individual who likes to take charge in their daily life.

Submissive – An individual who prefers to give up certain control in daily life.

Top – Someone who likes to take charge sexually.

Bottom – Someone who likes to submit sexually.


Okay, so…got those straight? The average erotic novel will usually contain Dominant Tops and Submissive Bottoms. Did you know that in real life there are also Dominant Bottoms and Submissive Tops? Before you gasp in shock, think of all the stories you hear about strong, powerful men – men who are CEOs and who run powerful organizations – who use a Dominatrix to relax. They enjoy submitting in the bedroom. There is nothing wrong with that. Nor is there anything wrong with someone who works at the local 7-11 in a menial job spending their weekend Topping someone at a local fetish club.


If you look at it from a logical and not sexually-crazed context, it makes sense. The person who runs & controls everything in their own life might find great pleasure in submitting to another just as someone who prefers to follow on a day-to-day basis might enjoy smacking someone else’s ass. That is not to say that everyone would find it this way. After all, this Submissive Bottom prefers Dominant Tops in real life. And they are not easy to find 😉


Now, how can we cross that over into erotica? Well, we all see the books out there about billionaires and their secretaries where the billionaire is a Dominant Top and the secretary is a Submissive Bottom. How about switching that up a bit? At work, he has control…at home he serves her. Sound a bit hot? They walk through the door after an entire day of him ordering her around, paying little attention to her and the moment that door shuts behind them, he hits his knees. He makes her dinner, serves her completely naked, then for dessert, he pleases her in every way possible – because she told him to. Without getting any physical pleasure for himself. And that is where he gains his pleasure – it gears him up for another hard day at work.


Intrigued yet?


How about a high-powered female exec who controls her life with an iron fist falling for a young woman who sells her artwork on the street? In a crowd, people assume the exec is in charge, but when they get home? Imagine if their roles are reversed. Just think of the release for the exec at being able to give up control to someone she trusts and the artist who can take that care away from the woman she loves by taking that control. And just imagine the sensual scenes an author could write…


Think of all the permutations. In my current novel As Natural As Breathing, my two characters investigate and really get into spanking as a sexual fetish. Logan is the Top, Christian the Bottom. As Logan is the one who leads the brand new relationship, one might think he is the Dominant as well. But is he? You won’t know the answer to that until its sequel comes out in January 2014 when they start to discuss their domestic discipline relationship.


*ducks tossed tomatoes*


No tossing tomatoes…it will get Ana’s pretty site all dirty.


As Natural As Breathing

Length: Novel

Genre: Gay Spanking Romance


For Christian Darringer, life isn’t worth living. Just back from the Middle East; scarred and with permanent damage to one leg, he does not think anyone will want him for anything. Meeting a gorgeous man he finds himself thinking about constantly is not in his plans. Pulled toward the startling younger man with striking blue eyes, he begins to question a lot of things – especially his sexuality. Not one to hide from a challenge, he plunges ahead only to find himself more than just attracted to Logan who is full of life and joy, he finds himself head over heels in love.


Logan Mannette has almost everything he ever wanted: loving parents, happiness, friends and security. The only thing missing is finding the love of his life, a love that is just like his parents’. When he meets Christian at a party, everything changes. Instantly attracted, he does his best to help this sad man and quickly finds himself feeling more than he has ever felt before. Raised in a domestic discipline household, he holds that ideal as what he wants but his interest in spanking became a fetish and when Christian admits that he wants to be spanked, Logan believes he might have found the perfect man.


Just as everything begins for them, Christian’s past intercedes and one of his brothers makes waves about him dating a man. If it weren’t for Logan’s support, he might fold; but with the love of one amazing man, Christian finds that living his life rather than just existing is as natural as breathing.


You can find As Natural As Breathing at:

Amazon UK
Barnes & Noble



Thianna D

For Thianna D, reading and writing are as important as breathing and far more important than math or science. A storyteller from the time she could speak, she was always making up characters as a kid. As a teenager that turned to sci-fi and fantasy, as an adult to romance. It wasn’t until her fourth decade that she began writing erotic scenes within her stories.

Writing M/M came naturally to her; she wrote her first tale before ever having read one. “There is something about the amazing dynamic between two strong men falling in love and defeating anything thrown at them.” While she had written several BDSM stories involving men, As Natural As Breathing was the first full-length novel involving domestic discipline.

You can find out more of what is going on with her at:

Thianna D’s Blog

Thianna D’s Author Site





7 thoughts on “Monday Morning Fika with Thianna D: Dominant Bottoms and Submissive Tops

  1. La Crimson Femme says:

    As a side note, there are other interpretations of Top and bottom. Just so other readers can note. It depends also on the genre or if one is in the BDSM lifestyle. For example in M/m stories and LGBT, top and bottom outside of the “kinky” lifestyle refers to the person doing the penetrating and the one being penetrated respectively.

    For BDSM, Top and bottom mean different things that the above definition if one is only into SM of the BDSM. The above definition works for D/s relationships, but not always the case for BD or SM. Because both BD and SM don’t need to involve sex and some are very against D/s don’t see it this way.

    It’s the nice thing about BDSM yet can be a bit hard for newcomers – the definitions and meanings are so fluid. It’s what works for the people involved that matters.

    With the definition above it helps to explain the point the Thianna is trying to get across. It is theme starting to gain more popularity. I’m pretty thrilled cuz I enjoy it all. I’m interested in reading the book!

    (FYI, many of us call the above scenario bedroom submissives.)


  2. Thianna D says:

    Thanks La Crimson Femme. That was why I asked people to look at those definitions specifically to this article. For every label and person there is a different definition and I didn’t want to bog people down too much with lingo. *grins*

    Because the lingo can flow too easily sometimes 😀


  3. Cara Bristol says:

    I can understand how someone who is (must be) in control all day would want to give up control for fun and games. It makes sense. But I also understand how some people would be unable to give up control period.


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