Tuesdays with Ana: Which Trekker would you spank?

If you had a choice, which character from Star Trek would you spank?

My answer? Wesley Crusher. Not for erotic kicks, but for the pure satisfaction of thwarting the heavy-handed insistence that Wesley is the Great White Hope. The prodigy, demigod, and being with nearly supernatural powers who is blessed by the Traveler.

(Clarification: Wil Wheaton the adult is hysterical in guest spots as himself in Big Bang Theory. I’m talking about Wesley the character, not Wil the actor.)

In “Evolution,” super genius boy-child Wesley works on a homework project but falls asleep. His project leaks into the ship and his “nanites” start to wreck everything.

What bothers me most about Wesley (and, admittedly, Trekkies love to hate him) is that he keeps quiet rather than volunteering the information necessary to address the problem. While he does confess to his mother at the end, there are no consequences. If we look at other characters who make mistakes, they all pay for them. One of my favorites is Ro Laren, especially in her first (of only five, sadly) episodes where she disobeys Captain Picard and is confined to quarters. (I’d love to see some good spanking action with Ro Laren and Guinan who mentors her…mm!) Or look at Worf, who rules the Trek universe with his civil disobedience and acceptance of consequences.

Wesley, though, gets off scot-free. A good swat or two would have made that episode far more satisfying.


What about you? Which Star Trek character would you like to see spanked?


22 thoughts on “Tuesdays with Ana: Which Trekker would you spank?

  1. Dinah McLeod says:

    Wow. I would love to see 1st Officer Rikker (spelling?) spank Deanna. Not because I think she needs it, just because I wanna watch. 😉


  2. Thianna D says:

    I would like to say Seven of Nine spanked by Chakotay. He sometimes comes across as a wimp but when they make him strong I think she would appreciate that about him. Though her first reaction would be, in that bland Borg voice, “What are you doing?” without any reaction whatsoever.


  3. Adaline Raine says:

    I don’t spank either…..on that note I think I’d like to be spanked by DS9’s Jadzia Dax. She was so dominant and pretty equal when it came to her husband Worf.

    If not I’d like to watch Bashir spank her. He is genetically altered and has perfect hand-eye coordination. 🙂 I always wanted them to get together. (No, Ezri and Julian did nothing for me)


  4. Penelope says:

    Not terribly au fait with Star Trek so I’m not best qualified to comment, but… don’t the female crew in the 1960s show wear really cute, short dresses?

    I think if I were an alien I would beam on board and be terribly beastly to one such gal. 🙂

    Hm. Actually, why stop at one? I’d explain that spanking was how we Shmarblurbs greeted others, and work my way through the whole crew. Form a line!


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