Spanking and hairbrushes: Mommy Dominants, Part II

Have you signed up for the Advent Calendar yet? Don’t forget to earn your bonus prize entry by signing up before December 1st!

Do you have a question about the Advent Calendar? Read the FAQ!

Don’t know what the Advent Calendar is, or want to see the prize list? Visit the main page!

Last week, I talked about my love for Mother Gothel (specifically for her hairbrush). I’ve since been accused of loving her simply because she’s evil, so let me clarify. If Mother Gothel had no hairbrush, I wouldn’t like her as much. The hairbrush is important, people. πŸ™‚

What I find especially hilarious: after Tangled came out, Donna Murphy (the voice of Mother Gothel) had to explain to her 5-year-old daughter why she really didn’t want to make-believe that she (daughter) was Rapunzel and Donna was Mother Gothel. I laughed so hard at that one! πŸ˜€

While Daddy Dominants have become a staple of spanking and DD/ttwd, Mommy Dominants are a fairly rare breed. Mommy Dominants, when they do exist, generally refer to female disciplinarians of men rather than women. One subset of Mommy Dominants is those who punish their husbands by dressing them in female clothing.

However, is that the only type of Mommy Dominant? Absolutely not! Last year, I wrote about the need for expanding our ideas of F/F spanking, specifically the stereotype of female spankers. I proposed “Fearsome Teacher Mom,” or FTM, as a new model for a Mommy Dominant who could instill fear, love, and discipline with a single spanking.

Now picture FTM (or any other kind of Mommy Dominant) with a hairbrush.


I personally am not comfortable with the term “Mommy Dominant,” but there doesn’t seem to be another parallel to “Daddy Dominant,” at least that I can find. Perhaps it speaks to the marginalization of female dominants, the tendency of some female dominants to work professionally rather than in nurturing relationships, and the tendency of female dominants to seek male submissives.

The closest I can think of is Mommie Dearest, a book and film that inspired both fantasies and scoffing. *That* was a spanking? Pfft! πŸ™‚ (Disclaimer: No, I do not support spanking of actual children, and yes I understand this film depicted physical abuse of a child.) To be fair, the film is rather overdramatic and hard to take seriously.

But! I must confess that the evil mother spanking may have perhaps sparked a tiny bit of fantasy. πŸ˜€ Just a little. Had “Mommie” used a hairbrush, I would have been sold.

What’s so great about a hairbrush, you ask?

The first time I read about a girl receiving a spanking from an older woman, it was with a hairbrush. (And no, it wasn’t a spanking story but mainstream children’s fiction. Remember when regular stories included spanking?)

Unlike a cane, riding crop, or paddle, a hairbrush (or wooden spoon) speaks of domestic life, maternal discipline rather than leather, handcuffs, and a St. Andrew’s cross. A hairbrush speaks of love and care.

(Second disclaimer: BDSM discipline is given with love, too, but there is an almost vanilla quality to hairbrush and wooden spankings that we can’t find in the other methods.)

Kat received a large, heavy hairbrush for Christmas last year, and she hates it. She threw away the first version, and she’s been warned what will happen if she pulls that stunt again.

Mira, in her upcoming sequel, also will encounter a hairbrush.

Methinks the hairbrush will win that round. πŸ˜‰

How about you? Are you a fan of hairbrushes?

28 thoughts on “Spanking and hairbrushes: Mommy Dominants, Part II

  1. Tara Finnegan says:

    mmm, hairbrushes…. the stuff fantasies are made of. I remember watching a film years and years ago, I have no idea what it was, but it was set in possibly Victorian times and a young lady was acting out, and a slightly older male gave her a good hairbrushing and of course she was smitten after. It’s the first time I ever remember seeing a spanking and thinking ooh, I’d like that. Why don’t they make films like that any more?


  2. Joelle Casteel says:

    Very interesting article, Ana. I’ve been thinking about many of these things as I’ve been doing my nano writing. So far, I’ve written a lot less punishment with my Mommy character, who has repeatedly avoided using the term dominant- dominant is something she did in her local BDSM community, but never felt quite right to her. I did finally write a spanking- using an antique hairbrush that the little in fact bought herself :D- but I’ve been interested in using other than outright physical discipline and nurturing. Of course, I’ve built a Mommy and a little girl who are both learning their roles


    • Anastasia Vitsky says:

      I’m glad to see you exploring the mommy dominance dynamic as I think there’s a lot more than currently available in spanking fiction. And no matter what our dynamic may be, we are always learning our roles.


      • Joelle Casteel says:

        I was interested at Blushing Books- I went over to their website today because I’ve actually mentioned Blushing in the WIP, as well as Breanna Hayse. I’m somewhat alarmed that they only talk about Daddy/little girl dynamics when explaining what ageplay is in that section.


  3. SassyTwatter says:

    Very interesting post and comments. Little sacred you keep turning ordinary harmless objects into weapons. Having never been on the receiving end it sounds both intriguing and more nurturing and correcting for naughty behavior but also ouchie!!!


  4. Ami says:

    Jan (above) and I, both had the same “hairbrush” and they both broke at around the same time! Obviously quite inferior, or we both have husbands with a tendency to “swing”!

    I used to love the hairbrush, strangely, and absolutely hate a thick wooden spoon we have solely for purpose! I should like another hairbrush, but the only one I have seen that may be of use is far to expensive to want to buy it, only to have it break, like the last one. Perhaps a small, purpose built , hairbrush shaped paddle would be a good idea? Wonder if Blondie has any?

    And I remember watching Mommie Dearest years ago. I didn’t care for it much, but I don’t remember the spanking.

    I do have lots of stories on my Kindle where the mother disciplines the child with a hairbrush, and it seems quite a good idea in a story, but I am not sure what the reaction would be if it was found out someone’s kids were getting their discipline via a hairbrush. Probably better to keep the spankings for the big girls?! LOL!



    • Anastasia Vitsky says:

      Sounds like you and Jan must be MIGHT naughty if you both broke hairbrushes! Tsk. Mrs. Claus will have to attend to both of you.

      I think Blondie’s pocket paddles are quite similar to a hairbrush in shape and size. There’s another site that sells “bedroom paddles,” I think, that are leather and similar in size.

      Of course I only watched Mommie Dearest for the spanking. πŸ˜€

      As to actual mothers spanking actual children with a hairbrush, I’m not a fan. But for adults having fun, ooh yes! Hehe…

      Hugs back.


  5. Julie says:

    Ana, you’re so talented at understanding and articulating DD dynamics – it’s no wonder your stories are special. I think you’re right that there has to be a better description than Mommy Dominant, though.

    Perhaps Kat could find a way to have *Natalie* conveniently misplace the hairbrush – or at least store it with their bathbrush. πŸ™‚ After all, the loss of the first one wasn’t really her fault.

    And poor Mira! 😦 Desire is such a beautiful story – I can’t wait to read about her new relationship.


    • Anastasia Vitsky says:

      Julie, you’re so sweet. I’m blushing.

      I’m also laughing at your ideas. Sounds like a way for poor Kat to have a very sore Thanksgiving, not to speak of Christmas.

      I can’t wait to show everyone Mira 2, too. πŸ˜€ I hope you like it.


  6. minellesbreath says:

    The hairbrush definitely sounds intriguing, but fantasy and reality are two different things.
    There is an old movie…can’t remember the title…It is on Chross I am sure. The female lead spanks a bratty young lady with a hairbrush. We do not see the spanking…however-that hairbrush!


  7. Missy says:

    Wow hairbrush fantasy ??? I hate the brush 😦 I have a very nice cherry wood hairbrush and it’s hidden in my bag and will NOT be used unless to brush my hair. We do however have a bath brush which is perticulary ouchy and horrid 😦 leather over wood any day.
    As to the mother disciplinarian, well having a less than good relationship with mine, I don’t think I could ever put myself in a similar situation, even in play. But I think I understand what intrigues people about such a dynamic πŸ™‚


    • Anastasia Vitsky says:

      Fantasy does always differ from reality, and hairbrushes are ouchy. Still, the emotional impact is what I like. Bath brushes hurt worse, I think!

      I think for some people, the appeal of a mother figure for discipline is to work through and correct what might not have been positive in the original mother relationship. But also, there are mothering figures that aren’t mother-like, such as teachers, mentors, etc.

      Nice to see you! πŸ™‚


  8. catrouble says:

    Most hairbrushes are wood…
    Wood is no good!
    Leather is better.
    Feathers are best! πŸ˜€

    Oh…and ceramic hairbrushes…PURE D EVIL!


  9. Roz says:

    I’m with Cat, wood is no good! Never been on the receiving end of the hairbrush, but man … the wooden spoon! Ours is very much like a wooden paddle.



  10. tfd says:

    Very interesting, Ana. I’ve always had a fondness for, and been excited by, the traditional mother-daughter discipline dynamic. I didn’t find the Mommie Dearest story attractive—too crazy and dysfunctional—I like a more nurturing relationship. As a spanko, I was nevertheless hoping for spanking to be involved in a non-abusive way. The hairbrush can certainly be an object with which to inflict abuse. However, within the realm of fetish, that gives it power. The hairbrush is the strong symbol of “old-fashioned” maternal discipline. A mother must use that power judiciously. It’s not about fun, but discipline taken very seriously within a domestic environment geared to foster the genuine feelings that guardians and children may share.


    • Anastasia Vitsky says:

      Well, Mommie Dearest was a nutcase, but I also think she didn’t act the part very well. With more restraint, it could have been a powerful story.

      I love the old-fashioned maternal discipline dynamic, too. If a mother figure wields the hairbrush to punish and teach, it can be wonderful. But as you say, it can be used in a bad way. It’s on that in-between line where our fantasies occur, I think.

      Thank you for visiting!


Thank you so much for joining the discussion! Please play nicely or you may be asked to stand in the corner. ;)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s