Maybe this should be fun (Advent Calendar, Day 7)

Welcome to Saturday Spankings, Weekend Writing Warriors, Seductive Studs and Sirens, and Snippet Sunday! (If you want to be entered in a prize drawing for today and the grand prize drawing at the end of the month please see links below.)

So far, we’ve had a fairly tame (if hilarious) first week of Ana’s Advent Calendar. Giving Tuesday, St. Knickerless Day, ways to fake earning a spot on Santa’s Nice List…we’ve kept the silliness within (dare I say it?) downright vanilla territory.

Today, I’d like to introduce a bit of sizzle to our conversation. Each Saturday, I showcase eight sentences from one of my books or works in progress. My current WIP is a sequel to Desire in Any Language, a coming-out and coming-of-age story. Mira, studying abroad in South Korea to be a translator, finds herself fascinated by the cultural of corporal punishment. She meets Hana, an alluring but fun-loving diplomat who breaks the rules. The following excerpt is Mira’s memory of their early courtship.

“I don’t want you to fall behind in your schoolwork because you’re seeing me,” she said on our fourth date, when we pretended to watch a film at the local cinema. My answer was lost as she placed her lips over mine, cupping the back of my neck with both hands. I’m sure it broke all of her embassy’s protocol for conduct in a foreign country, but the faintly buttery embrace made me forget my objections.

“I won’t,” I promised, never dreaming she would hold me to it. By our sixth date, strolling around the pond near my dormitory because I couldn’t get security clearance for her housing complex, I knew better.

“Maybe this should be fun,” she whispered, as she propped me against a secluded building for a few warm-up swats. She’d tried to spank me before, but each attempt led to more pressing events. I learned to wear turtlenecks so I could hide the hickeys after our dates.

Advent Calendar players, please choose one or more questions based on their appropriateness for you. This a work-sharing post, so I will not reply to every comment because it tends to be overkill. 🙂 However, I will read and treasure each one of your responses.

  1. Have you ever allowed new love to distract you from your responsibilities? How or how not?
  2. How would you feel if someone swatted your bottom on a second or third date?
  3. Which is more intimate for you, spanking or sex? (Yes, you can only choose one! Yes, you MUST choose one.)


  4. Respond to the snippet any way you like. 🙂


Desire in Any Language
Mira thought she wanted a spanking.  What she got was love.

On her own for the first time, Mira is studying abroad for her translator’s certificate.  Unfortunately, the heady excitement of dance clubs, late-night parties, and endless shopping quickly distracts her from her educational goals.  Mira’s advisor offers her private tutoring, but the combined pressures of culture and language difference threaten Mira’s progress at school.  She is unable to get her act together until she makes a discovery that horrifies and tantalizes her: in her new country, corporal punishment is a way of life.  The secret to her academic success just might also fulfill her wildest, unspoken dreams.

Sexy. Seductive. Dangerous. A poignant and compelling read.


94 thoughts on “Maybe this should be fun (Advent Calendar, Day 7)

  1. Leigh Smith (aka Sunny Girl) says:

    I hate hickeys and turtlenecks. Not sure what came first. lol

    Yes, when I was younger, I allowed new love get in the way of my responsibilities.


  2. Joelle Casteel says:

    oh what a lovely snippet 🙂 I look forward to the book. But yes, I’ve most certainly allowed new relationships to cause issues. It’s part of the struggle of polyamory for me; it’s been so long since we tried to find a more permanent third that the last time a woman became a possibility, I neglected all my household work often for long telephones calls for about a two week period until it became obvious it wasn’t going to work with her. Swats on the bottom on a date would depend if I’d agreed to BDSM activity with this person; I’d get pretty angry at someone who I was seeing in a vanilla fashion if they just suddenly spanked. Speaking of BDSM, spanking for me is just the tip of the iceberg of interests. I’ve never enjoyed casual BDSM activity- it’s always been within relationships- whereas sexual activity could happen for dozens of reasons, so spanking is far more intimate to me.


  3. Renee Rose says:

    I didn’t have much for responsibilities when I met my husband– it was the summer after I graduated college and we were working (slacking) at a dude ranch.

    For me, I think spanking is more intimate that sex


  4. PT Wyant says:

    Have you ever allowed new love to distract you from your responsibilities?
    No. Well, not since college. Actually, not even then, really. I’m going to say no.

    How would you feel if someone swatted your bottom on a second or third date?
    That would be the LAST date. (And that someone would think twice before trying it again.)

    Which is more intimate for you, spanking or sex? (Yes, you can only choose one!)
    (You didn’t say I HAD to choose one…)


  5. laurellasky says:

    I was working as a nurse when I met Ed. He is a sweet, kind gentle vanilla man. After being married I got up the nerve to tell him I liked spanking. From then on he would give me a gentle swat or two. Sometimes you have to give up the fantasy’s and grow up. In the big picture it’s a small matter. I love him dearly and feel he’s my soul mate. I still read a lot of spanking stories and that’s fine. He’s now 88 ( I’m his child bride) and he has Alzheimer’s and each day with him is so previous as we can still talk about trips we have taken and each day is a blessing. I guess I got off the track so please excuse me.
    I love this hop.


  6. Ria says:

    1. No, never got distracted by first nor last love. I guess I was too focused or not enough in love, :-0.
    2. How do I feel about spanking on a date? Hmmm, I think I am too aggressive to allow it. I thoroughly enjoy reading about it but do not imagine myself in that situation.
    3. I say Sex. If course, since I have never been on neither side of a spanking (except being disciplined as a kid), I really have no idea, 😮


  7. Michael says:

    I love this post, Ana. I just started reading your “Desire in any Language” two days ago and am loving it. I’m not finished yet but am so glad to hear you are working on a sequel. Mira is an amazing character, and I must admit I have a bit of a crush on her.

    As for being distracted from my responsibilities by love the answer is a big resounding YES. When I was dating my first wife we were both working in Manhattan and at that point our relationship was fueled on pure lust. We would stay out late visiting clubs and dance and drink then head straight to the bedroom to rip our clothes off. Some nights it was hard to even make it out of the car and sometimes we didn’t and made love right there. Some nights we would be out till 3 or 4 in the morning and since we needed to be up at 6 to commute into New York City we wouldn’t sleep and just head straight to work after a quick shower and change of clothes – or not so quick if we were showering together. This would usually happen two or three times a week so we were burning the candle at both ends. Most times I made it into work but the quality of my work did suffer both from my lack of rest and my lack of concentration as I was thinking about her and the things we did and the things we were going to do. Ah, the passion and stamina of youth.

    I met my current wife, Season, online so at first we had a long distance relationship until I was able to move to Minnesota and marry her. I was older but only a little wiser as we would stay up very late talking on the phone which sometimes affected my daily responsibilities due to lack of rest.

    Which is more intimate, spanking or sex? That is a tough one because many times for me both happen together, but if I can only pick one I would say spanking. I say spanking because of the intimate vulnerability of the submissiveness involved. A person must have trust but also strength to open themselves up to another and give that person control. I have said this before, a woman never stands taller than when she bends over someone’s lap.


  8. thelongbean says:

    1) No- my ex and I started to get to know each other properly through email and chat initially. It was only when she moved in with me that I had to drive her 40 miles to work (she could not drive) and then back to get to the office I worked in which was a mile from home. I was usually at work on time and was able to carry out my job properly.
    2) The first time my ex and I met was at a play party. I admired her “unusual” flogger made of silicone and eventually persuaded her to use it on me so I could experience the different sensations. It was very thuddy with a little sting and it was not long before She took me to that floaty sensation…
    3) Both are equally intimate but in different ways, so my answer is both!


  9. Sheila says:

    1.Have you ever allowed new love to distract you from your responsibilities? How or how not? No, not much distracts me until lately and that’s because of post-vacation highs.

    2.How would you feel if someone swatted your bottom on a second or third date?
    Depends on the relationship. Casual–person would never do it again. BDSM–it would be negotiated.

    3.Which is more intimate for you, spanking or sex? (Yes, you can only choose one!)
    Spanking. More vulnerable physically and emotionally.


  10. TL says:

    I was once very young and naive. What I thought was my first real love swept me away and I allowed it to consume everything. I was in college and first love and first tastes of freedom don’t go well together. I allowed this person to totally take over my life and wash away my sense of self. It cost me quite a bit, but I learned a great deal from it. It makes me appreciate the real love I have now with Bucko.


  11. Natasha Knight says:

    Spanking is way more intimate than sex for me. That one was easy. On question one- yes of course! All the time when I was young and single. I used to work at a hotel and don’t know if you know this but I have a thing for foreign men. It was like a candy shop for me… Second one would depend really. I think if I wasn’t into spanking, it might not matter but because it is so special, I might read way more into it than intended!


  12. Tara Finnegan says:

    A tempting, teasing snippet snippet Ana. Desire in any language will have to be my reading material on today’s trip (no of course I’m not doing the driving!!)

    Have you ever allowed new love to distract you from your responsibilities? How or how not?
    I am delighted to say that even after twenty years in the same relationship and over fifteen years of marriage, every now and then, love still can distract me. How? Silly things, phone calls, texts when we should both be working, or sometimes we steal time at home when the kids are at school in working hours, sometimes its only to share a cup of coffee or tea and be able to have time to talk without little ears, sometimes its more!

    How would you feel if someone swatted your bottom on a second or third date?
    That depends, if it was a light playful swat in a fairly tactile relationship, I’d probably laugh and swat them right back. If it was an anything more, I confess, I wouldn’t be one bit impressed and it would probably be the end of that relationship.

    Which is more intimate for you, spanking or sex? (Yes, you can only choose one!)
    That’s a tricky question, as to me they are both very intimate expressions of love, and I give and expect total fidelity in both. But I think it takes a very deep trust to allow someone to spank you, you’re crossing a boundary in terms of your physical well being, and you have to trust your partner not to abuse you, physically or emotionally when you hand over that power. You have to feel totally secure with someone before crossing that line. (What a long winded way of going about saying “Spanking” sorry!)


    • Merna says:

      Oh, I love this answer about still being distracted by love even after twenty years! This is exactly how I feel too. I have known my husband for nearly 30 years, and I love him more every day. I’m probably the most boring person in the world because I often inject him into conversations.


  13. Janey says:

    Oh yes when at college, my boyfriend more or less moved in with me (just not officially!) and I skipped lectures, ignored family and lived in the cocoon of my bedroom with him, too eager to share each other.(he is my husband now)
    A swat on date 2 or 3 (especially if it was related to my health or safety, about him caring for me) would have saved me angst because I’d have known I was on the right track, it’s always been my fantasy to have a strong dominant partner who knows his own mind, what he wants and is prepared to follow through. Part of the attraction to my husband was his attraction to my bottom, although at that stage it wasn’t swats but fondles, pinches and talk.
    Maybe I live in a romantic/ spanking fiction world but it seems to me that historically spanking was more common place in the school and home, while growing up and possibly when married whilst the act of sex was rarely spoken of and (at least for many women) shared only with spouse. It seems this may have swapped around in many respects with sex being openly talked of, sung about and partaken outside marriage and spanking becoming the taboo. For me then, spanking is more intimate.


  14. sassytwatter says:

    Ana- it is amazing to to see how you have grown in your writing. The snippet was seductive, alluring and sweet. I can’t wait to read. Im trying to reply while making sure none of 12 drunkards Get to interested in what I’m doing thankfully smart girl I ordered pizza to keep them busy.

    I am totally guilty of allowing a love interest to engulf my world and distract me from what needs to get done. I think most relationships have that attached at the hip phase. Where everything is kinda tossed to the side for a bit. I think as we get older we get better at managing this.

    Did happen but just a quick smack and I was overly pouty & perturbed because secretly I wanted it but was not ready to admit it and felt embarrassed.

    Oh I can never choose one I’m not good with multiple choices I can argue a case for both. Plus I like to split hairs and hedge my bets. I was kinda they everything but sex girl only because of the fear of stds my parents instilled. Ugh- ok spanking because of the vulnerable position you are in and the trust you must have in someone to engage in such liaisons. You can get caught up with hormones and end up over heated and unable to stop because of lust and want.

    Hapoy Saturday!


  15. paul1510 says:

    Yes, to the first.
    If she didn’t mind me returning the favour.
    For me spanking is far more intimate than physical sex, as it implies total trust.
    Warm hugs,


  16. Ami says:

    I’m with Sunny. I hate both hickeys and turtle necks. I didn’t realise people still wore turtle necks. I suppose you need to wear one to hide the other.

    Dan and I were so young when we first met. I suppose back then our school work must’ve suffered somewhat. We certainly used to meet up as often as we could, and that lasted for nearly ten years till we married. I can remember feeling resentful because he wouldn’t let me rush him into marriage. Like everything since, Dan has always needed to move slowly and think a great deal.

    I do think that if he had spanked me, certainly whilst we were engaged, it would have done me some good. I think I must’ve been a nightmare at times. I was a very temperamental young woman, and ALWAYS getting into scrapes of one sort or another. He used to get annoyed because there were several other young men circling like hyenas, and I even got several other proposals, but he was the only man for me. In those days his behaviour was very dominant at times.

    Sex or spanking. I wonder if it is possible to separate them? Spanking has opened up not just a new world but a new universe for us. I am trying to get him to transfer some of his stress by spanking me, these days. I think it does help. Sometimes spanking is very intimate, but other times, not so much. Just very ouchie! So for us, sex is more intimate, learning to fulfil each other’s dreams and fantasies regardless of the passing years. There’s a sweetness to that.

    (Looking forward to the book, Ana! I agree so much with Sassy. You have GROWN in your writing!)



  17. PK says:

    Awww heck, love is welcomed to distract me from anything it wants to. I have to agree with Paul, I know many people have sex without a second thought. Choosing to be in a relationship that involves spanking – now that’s intimate.


  18. minellesbreath says:

    Love the snippet Ana! That kiss…so sweet and loving. The imagery of her clasping her around the neck to pull her in…..lovely.
    Yes there were men who distracted me from my responsibilities…my hubby too. Dancing and staying out all night come to mind. Maybe getting an hours sleep and going into work ‘anyway’ come to mind!
    If someone swatted me on a first date….(if I wasn’t married or dating my Scotsman) ahem….anyway…..If I liked them it would have given me thrills and triggered me, even if it irritated me. The idea of non-con is exciting. If he was a creep….probably would have been angry.
    The intimacy of spanking rather than making love? Hmmmmm I answered the other two. I only had to answer one!


  19. JoanneBest says:

    Oh Ana! What a way to start the day 😉 I want to be Mira in the movie version 😀
    When I said I’m a newbie I wasn’t kidding, I’m still waiting for my first spanking (to be followed by many more please and thank you :-D) but I am getting closer {she said hopefully}…ok as much as I want to babble I must hurry today (my Dad finally caved and decided he’d let me put the Christmas tree up “for your Mother” he said, to which I said yay because that’s what she’d want and I’m babbling again!)
    Here we go:
    1.When it comes to ‘new love’ I am Distracted Girl, I tend to obsess when it comes to certain things, my mind gets so wrapped up in fantasy I don’t want to think of anything else so I either get all my responsibilities out of the way fast as possible or I procrastinate as long as I can get away with; I always get it done (whatever ‘it’ is) but my mind is always thinking 😉
    2.Since I’m waiting (im)patiently for my first spanking, and I wouldn’t be on a 2nd or 3rd date unless I was really into that person, I’d be delighted! After all, bottoms are made for a good spanking as long as the chemistry is there, right?
    3.I would have to say spanking is more intimate than sex. How can I say that when I’ve never been spanked? Well I have a good imagination, and I think you have to be very very trusting of the spanker and have a strong connection to even bring up the subject…it took me a few years to bring up the subject and was answered with ‘why didn’t you tell me sooner?’ so who knows, maybe Santa will bring me a brand spanking new spanking for Christmas this year 😉 I will keep you updated hee 😀

    Oh I can’t wait till tomorrow!!! I want to live here forever!!! This is the Land Of Smiles for me! ❤ xox


  20. angieia says:

    I agree I hate turtlenecks. Now when my husband tries to give me hickeys he makes sure that they can’t be seen. I would have been appalled when I was younger if I had been spanked on a second or third date. Now I definitely enjoy a nice spank, because I know where it is going to lead. Spanking and sex are both intimate. I have yet to get a punishment spanking so I really enjoy the spanking when I do get one.

    Enjoyed the excerpt!


  21. abby says:

    Great snippet….glad i am retired i see lots more reading in my future.
    Distracted of course….which is more interesting…a philosophy class or being “distracted ” by you current love!….

    Hmmm….well for a long time it would have meant trouble with a couple T….on the other hand…guess how my first day with Master ended?

    Spanking…..much more intimate….makes one so vulnerable….

    hugs abby


  22. Leah says:

    1. My husband most certainly distracted me from responsibilities when we started dating, but nothing too damaging. Since then, periodically our love becomes “new” again from time to time and thus distracting. There have been phases where the kids ate cereal for dinner and work didn’t get quite as much attention, but totally worth it.

    2. Depends on the chemistry on the 2rd or 3rd date. A sweet love swat might be well received but much more would need to wait.

    3. Spanking because it is so taboo.


  23. octoberwoman says:

    I don’t think I’ve ever let a new love distract me from responsibilities, other than staying out or up late when I should be sleeping. Unless you count high school, but then I let anything and everything distract me from responsibilities at that time in my life. I honestly don’t know how I would react if my date just suddenly decided to swat me. If it were our second or third date, then I probably would be pretty into him or I wouldn’t have gone out on the first date. But I will confess now that I’ve never actually been spanked. At least, not since my dad and his dreaded belt when I was a kid! On second thought, if my date pulled off his belt and tried to swat me with it, I’d probably run for the hills.


  24. Renee Meyer says:

    Love the snippet. Can’t wait for the book. New love distracting? I met my first husband in high school – oh yeah major distraction. Love at that time was so much more important than the silly education my parents were always harping on. The school buses went on strike during my junior year for about four months. I think I spent more time with the boyfriend “going” to school than I did actually at the school. I don’t know about swats on the second date. I guess it would depend on whether they were deserved or not. Actually, in my fantasy world they might be okay but in my real very vanilla life they would never happen. I think spanking is more intimate than sex. Our culture is very open about sex but remains very quiet on the subject of spanking. It takes a lot of trust to share our inner selves. Thanks Ana for the snippet and the smile. Have a great day.


  25. terpsichore says:

    I certainly allowed myself to be swept away by the romance of newness of a new relationship…but never let it interfere with responsibilities, a little easier to do because ours was a long distance romance and I had plenty of alone time to accomplish what needed to be done and indulge completely during our times together. With our relationship we were already in love when he gave me my first swat and then I tried to get him to do it again without saying a word. I think it might still make flutters in my body but would seem too soon in a way and would not have been ready for the more intimate spanking moments. While I wish I did not wait so long to share my secret desires with him…it all happened in our own time. Now, that being said I had a friend who in college was known to give a swat now and then – but again he was not a stranger on a first or second date – he was a friend…once I believe was because I was dancing out in the rain during a lightning storm… 🙂 I think I was both embarrassed and shyly turned on (it was before I really understood what spanking meant to me) Okay, I think I answered at least one question in there if not more. 🙂 Thanks for the snippet of your story. 🙂


  26. kimmyl says:

    Oh wow Ana, you have made this blog so much fun and interesting. Since I’m in a new relationship, I have to confess that I do let love distract me from my responsibilities. What can I say he makes me feel like a school girl sometimes. I sometimes drop everything I’m doing to help him or spend cuddle time with him. Swats on a second or third date, I don’t think so. That’s a little too much when you’re’re trying to get to know someone. lol. Spanking during sex seems like it would be fun and very intimate.


  27. Holla Dean says:

    1. Yes, when my husband and I first met I called in sick a few times to go have fun with him. I was only 22, I probably wouldn’t do that now.
    2. I’m not sure how I would feel. Next week will be our 39th anniversary so it’s been a very long time since I dated. I guess it would depend on how quickly the relationship heated up.
    3. Spanking, don’t know why – it just is.

    Love the snippet.


  28. Michelle Willms (@willms_m) says:

    While I’ve never let love interfere with my work responsibilities, I have let everything else fall to the wayside. My house has gone completely to hell because we were too busy for me to take care of such boring domestic tasks. We would spend every second we could in bed. And it was delicious!


  29. Maren Smith says:

    Wonderful snippet! 😀 I can’t wait to read the book!
    1.) Have you ever allowed new love to distract you from your responsibilities? How or how not?
    I have never let love distract me from anything. I’m one of those that sets a game plan and sticks with it, and I pretty much work to keep myself busy and time passing until we got together again.

    2.) How would you feel if someone swatted your bottom on a second or third date?
    Woo hoo! But why didn’t he swat me on the first date?

    3.) Which is more intimate for you, spanking or sex?
    Spanking is far more intimate for me than sex because of the emotional aspect involved. You don’t get that in sex. …Or maybe that’s just me.


  30. JC says:

    I don’t really know how to respond. I have never been in love and never been spanked. I think if I was into him and he swatted me would like it.


  31. LA Cloutier says:

    Have you ever allowed new love to distract you from your responsibilities? Of course I have. I am a terrible multitask-er. Loved the snippet Ana. I really like the comments people have left too. ヅ ツ ッ


  32. Katie says:

    Awww!!! I love reading about Mira!!! Nice to see her giddy and in love! 🙂 Good for her!

    1. When I was young and in love, say at age sixteen, I certainly remember making more time for my boyfriend than my studies at times. But I always got my work done in the end. When I met Rob, I was in my mid twenties and had finished college. I was in an intense school program where we studied hard and so although I wanted to neglect things sometimes, it was not something that I did then. It was important to take care of all of those responsibilities. Made the free time together even more special.

    2. Hmmm… Not sure on that. Third date, with Rob- a quick swat for fun- maybe fine. Otherwise probably not so great. That is an activity reserved for someone whose trust you have gained, in my eyes.

    3. To me sex with Rob is much more intimate than spanking. Yes there is the complete vulnerability in being spanked and taken to a place where you let go and cry, for instance. That trust is without question completely there. But for me it has always been harder to let go with sex and share my desires- be vulnerable in that way. And in fact spanking, and other fun activities, are ways that Rob can get me “out of my head” and allow for that to happen more readily. Rob thinks it has a lot to do with growing up in a very catholic home. Perhaps. When he takes the control away it is pretty great. Ttwd has really made a huge difference in so many ways. But I have to go with sex as the most intimate for me. Spanking is a close second here.

    Thanks for all the hard work that you have done for the advent calendar, Ana!!! I have really loved participating this past week. Yesterday’s post made me LOL on and off all day! It has been fun to read all of the comments from people each day too. Many new faces as well- wonderful!!! Hats off to you, Miss Naughty elf in Corner- for bringing people together to share in the joys of the season!!! Many hugs,

    ❤ Katie


  33. chickie says:

    No I’ve never been distracted for responsibities by love. My first was much much older and set me in a good track in life. My daddy.

    And had he spanked me, I probably would’ve freaked out a little at the reality of it. But those spanked by teacher fantasies went back pretty far. I’m quite certain I would’ve submitted to him in time. Reluctantly but I think I would. His words alone did the job. If I were older I’m sure it would’ve eventually gone there.

    Only two other people, and I had such focus and work ethic at that point so no distraction could get through. Many lost nights of sleep but always did what needed to be done.

    For me sex will be the more intimate one. Spanking is a platonic thing.


  34. Irishey says:

    That encounter with the buttery popcorn…faintly emanating from hands, lips, breath…eeewwwww! Negative imagery for me involving a bad childhood accident and a dentist who must’ve only rinsed his hands after eating greasy potato chips or buttery popcorn, then coming in to work on my mouth week after week. Ick. Ick. Ick! Lol!

    D took me out to buy turtlenecks the morning after our first night’s reunion in decades. He was appalled, at his age and experience, to have left hickeys! I loved what led to getting them, so I would live in turtlenecks and neck scarves if necessary. 😉 I told him I would keep ice handy in future, but he refuses to repeat it and chance leaving such juvenile evidence of his “ineptness.” I guess it’s a man code thing for him. Why must I bruise so easily? Lol! 😦

    Q&A Time:

    1. Have you ever allowed new love to distract you from your responsibilities? How or how not?

    Allowed? I used to believe I had complete control over whether anyone or anything distracted me, because I allowed nothing except responsibility to my babies distract or interfere. I did, however, choose to be distracted on occasion! 😉 Then D reentered my life a few years ago, and I was reminded why we, both “A” students, almost failed our shared chemistry class in high school. 😀

    2. How would you feel if someone swatted your bottom on a second or third date?

    Lol! Wait – in seriousness, or in fun? If in fun, I would howl, “Hey!” I would be laughing as I immediately swatted back. Really, you get a “sense” about someone, and that determines how comfortable and intrigued you are with risking certain liberties and familiarities.

    An unanticipated swat given in seriousness without my permission, depending on the intensity of the strike and my instantaneously perceived threat level, could earn my date some very truly unpleasant repercussions.

    I assume we are talking 2nd/3rd date with a stranger, not a date with a longtime friend. With strangers, especially out alone on a date, there is quite a difference between a fun swat that happens in a silly, even sexy way, and being seriously swatted without warning and some form of mutual understanding and consent.

    3. Which is more intimate for you, spanking or sex? (Yes, you can only choose one!)

    Oh, for Pete’s sake! Lol! I read this post very late last night, and have given this particular question a great deal of thought. I thought I had decided sex can be more intimate, but spanking can be more vulnerable, yet that didn’t seem to hold exactly true to me. I even just now read through the comments to see if I might have overlooked some considerations. Clearly, it depends on so many variables, I may as well flip a coin……

    Okay, best 2 out of 3…
    Heads – Sex is more intimate.
    Tails – Spanking is more intimate.
    Heads. Tails. Heads.
    Heads it is! Glad that is settled, but I honestly believe both can be equally intimate at different times for various reasons.

    Sex is more intimate.


  35. Johnna Maquire says:

    I’ve never let love distract me from getting work done so long as I was being paid to do it, but I have chosen not to take work based on love, so it’s kind of the same thing. I fulfill my obligations, but I have chosen those obligations differently based on love in the past.

    Since I only date in the spanking world, I’d be a little let down if they didn’t swat my bottom on the second or third date:) My current boyfriend gave me two proper spankings on our first date. He’s a keeper…or I’m mental.

    I’m not sure which is more intimate for me, spanking or sex, but I know which one I couldn’t live without, and that’s spanking. I will let plenty of guys spank me at parties and things like that, but I will only have sex with my partner. So, I guess sex is more intimate, but spanking is more integral to my make up.


  36. Michelle B says:

    Dang we’re getting into some intimate stuff today! 😉
    But – I gueeeesss (oh the things we do for the sake of perfect attendance) – I’ll reply…

    Have you ever allowed new love to distract you from your responsibilities?
    – I think yes to a certain level but never to the point of me shurking or failing to complete the tasks I had to accomplish. Somehow things always got done despite having spent hours on end lying in bed or snuggling on the sofa or whatever we did as lovebirds hehee

    How would you feel if someone swatted your bottom on a second or third date?
    – I think it would depend on a lot – years ago, I would have said heeellll no! But as I grow older and know what I like, maybe – depending on the type of person at the other end too of course… So final answer? maybe…

    Which is more intimate for you, spanking or sex?
    – I think neither… “making love” is more intimate that sex” and spanking typically occurs during sex (unless you consider the occasional butt slaps in passing). The most intimate is just snuggling together as we watch a movie or a show or just being together, not even talking… just being… 🙂


  37. Thianna D says:

    I’ll have to go with Q#2 because #1 is a given and #3 – no, I cannot choose just one, they are equally intimate to me.

    So, Q2: How would you feel if someone swatted your bottom on a second or third date?

    If we are on a second or third date, obviously I’m liking the guy. But if a guy just smacked my ass in public without any previous discussion of it? It would probably piss me off. Unless I knew for a fact he was into spanking and he knew the same of me – though that would make it even more important for him to bring it up. To me, it is a lack of respect to swat someone’s ass in public without getting previous permission.

    Yes, I’m the consent queen!

    Now, if he did it in private? Well, I can’t talk now, It’s behind closed doors and you don’t want to hear what happens next 😉


  38. Kelsey Summer says:

    I loved the excerpt and can’t wait for the rest. Now for your questions:
    1. Have you ever allowed new love to distract you from your responsibilities? How or how not? Yes, I admit that I definitely slacked when I was newly in love. Hubby and I started seeing each other (after being friends for years) right before finals our senior year in college. I didn’t study at all and my grades for my last semester were horrible.

    2. How would you feel if someone swatted your bottom on a second or third date? I think it would depend how well I knew the person. I’m sure my husband did (probably on our first date), but we’d been friends for a while and were already really close. With a stranger I’d probably be a little uncomfortable.

    3. Which is more intimate for you, spanking or sex? (Yes, you can only choose one! Yes, you MUST choose one.) Sex is more intimate for me. I tend to either laugh or cry with spanking. I can’t control the giggles.


  39. Kathryn R. Blake says:

    A playful swat on the bottom on my second or third date probably wouldn’t have caused me to freeze up like a human Popsicle, but I’m not sure we’d have the necessary trust built up between us by then for anything more. If a date tried to dominate me that early in our relationship, I’d probably have told him off. My submissiveness needs to be earned, it is not a given. The situation never came up. so I can’t be sure how I’d react. Hubby and I were living together before the word “spanking” was uttered in a discussion. And we’d dated on and off for two years before I moved in with him. So, he knew me pretty well before he ever threatened to take me over his knee. Great questions, Ana.


  40. Merna says:

    1. Have you ever allowed new love to distract you from your responsibilities?

    Not so much NEW love, but now?, after nearly 30 years? Oh, yes! It took nearly 20 years before I asked him to spank me. He obliged reluctantly, and I think he was pretty uncomfortable with it. Now he is getting the hang of it, and I am constantly distracted. What a great guy!

    2. How would you feel if someone swatted your bottom on a second or third date?

    I was pretty shy. I probably would have ignored it outwardly, and hoped he would try it again without having to ask for it.

    3. Which is more intimate for you, spanking or sex?

    Gotta be spanking. If it weren’t so important, it wouldn’t have taken 20 years to bring it up right?


  41. Leona says:

    1. I was totally distracted I started off on a sweet dinner date, then to his house for a beauitul evening of music and coffee and getting to know each other better… OOPPSS!
    did not leave tell 6am in the morning. Him to work.. and me off to get my son off to school.. ME BAD! for got my son.. Thank god he was at my parents. hahahah\
    2. I would not mind the swat on the butt.. I might have done it on the second. lol
    3. I think you are mean for not letting us pick both.. lol.. But I would have to says spanking because you need trust.,, sex is just that.. Untill you mix it up..

    Have a great day.. 🙂


  42. Erzabet Bishop says:

    Have you ever allowed new love to distract you from your responsibilities? How or how not?

    No. I believe that love in any form is a choice and a responsibility all on its own.

    How would you feel if someone swatted your bottom on a second or third date?

    Wow. I think if my husband had done that, we would have gone from sparks to fireball throwing much faster. lol. I would have loved it.

    Which is more intimate for you, spanking or sex? (Yes, you can only choose one! Yes, you MUST choose one.)

    Hmmm. They are so tied together for me. I guess if I have to pick one then it would be spanking. In order for it to be right, it has to have a certain intimate element about it to bring it to a sexual level. If it is done in anger, it is a different thing. So…yes…spanking.

    I am so excited to hear about your new story. I loved that one so much! 🙂

    Happy Saturday as I trudge off to my shift at the bookstore and retail Christmas craziness…




  43. Katy Beth McKee says:

    When my hubby and I started dating we lived 60 miles apart and could only see each other on weekends. There were no cells phones, texting, or social media. Beside I was just too busy to have time to be distracted. I was a single parent living at home to help care for my mother, and working three jobs. I lived for our weekends together.

    No spanking on dates. Of course he wouldn’t even now. Sigh.

    No practical experience but I think spanking because of what other’s said the level of trust that they wouldn’t take things to far.


  44. catrouble says:

    1. Have you ever allowed new love to distract you from your responsibilities? How or how not?
    No…Since I was trained from a very young age that my responsibilities came first, I never let a new love distract me…if anything had to ‘suffer’ it was ‘me time’ not responsibilities.

    2. How would you feel if someone swatted your bottom on a second or third date?
    LOL Been there, done that…When I was younger, it was done in fun…just a few light taps and I just laughed. When I started dating Matthew, I smart-mouthed him and he smacked my bum a few times fairly hard…since I had been in a DD marriage before, it really didn’t shock me or make me react in a negative manner as it might have when I was younger. Figured out real quick he was serious…in more ways than one. 😉

    3. Which is more intimate for you, spanking or sex? (Yes, you can only choose one! Yes, you MUST choose one.)
    Ha! I choose both! 😛 They are intimate in different ways…With spanking; I am more vulnerable, emotional and have to trust that my HoH/Dom is not going to injure me. I have only had ‘sex’ a handful of times in my life…the rest of the time was making love and yes, to me there is a huge difference. With sex, my partner was more interested in his gratification…with making love; we were both interested in giving to the other…which requires a deeper intimacy.

    4. Respond to the snippet any way you like.
    Never liked hickeys and would get extremely angry with any guy that gave me one!

    So I play by my own rules. 😉

    Thanks for all the fun Ana!

    Hugs and Blessings…


  45. Mona Lisa says:

    1.Oh my sweet 19 years …. and final year of high school.
    Of course it was fun to “miss lessons at school” and do other things ice stead .. lol ..
    Direct from the party to work .. could barely keep my eyes open .. lol ..

    2. Getting a slap on the butt – in my culture where I grew up was so wrong, so incredibly offensive to a woman that the only thing that counted to maintain dignity as a woman was to give him a slap. I’m not kidding. It was so, so wrong .. in the land of OZ, or in the land of Vikings.

    3. I remeber that Bas tried to prove to me that spanking can be as intimate as sex.

    But I’m such a newbie that I say six. Absolutely.


  46. Blondie says:

    1.Have you ever allowed new love to distract you from your responsibilities? How or how not?
    Yes, unfortunately. I was in college and I missed a lot of classes b/c I was with him. Got me put on Academic probation. And then I caught him in bed with a younger woman. He was 26 and I was 20 and the girl had just turned 19. Really hurt. But the next semester I was back to be the student that I was before him.
    2.How would you feel if someone swatted your bottom on a second or third date?
    It has been a long time since I have dated. Back when I was dating, if my date swatted my bottom I would probably hit him back. But I found spanking shortly after I married.

    3.Which is more intimate for you, spanking or sex? (Yes, you can only choose one! Yes, you MUST choose one.)
    I would say sex, making love is pretty intimate. Spankings are usually not part of the slow, loving, making love. If I had to choose sex or spanking, that would be tough. Spankings are very intimate and I would only let someone I trust spank my bottom.


  47. Terry says:

    1. Have I ever let love distract me from responsibilities? I should say mostly no. I didn’t really date in high school so no distractions as a teen. The first love of my life went to a different University than I did so other than many marathon phone conversations, we could only see each other when school permitted. When I started going out with my now husband, I was older with a job that was to important to not take seriously. Housekeeping took a major hit though.

    2. How would I feel if someone swatted my bottom on the 2nd or 3rd date? Other than a few love taps I have never been spanked as an adult. Although I’m not shy, it takes awhile for me to let people get real close. If I assume that a 2nd or 3rd date would be with a possible new relationship and not someone I already knew even a love tap wouldn’t go over very well with me and end any future contact.

    3. Which is more intimate a spanking or sex? I have no experience with a spanking except in my Very vivid imagination. I guess by default I would choose sex for the reasons I stated in question #2.

    Reading is a great way to give my imagination fuel for thought. Your new novel’s snippet is adding new logs (Yule Logs???) to my mind’s fire.


  48. M. Palmer says:

    I have let love distract me… but not until I met my husband. I was working as a proofreader straight out of college, and many times early in our courtship I would find myself daydreaming instead of proofing Forest Service documents…
    It would be hot if someone spanked me on a second or third date! But only over clothes… like a quick pop… that is way too intimate for right off the bat. So to speak.
    Which leads to… if you had asked me this 30 years ago I would have said sex was more intimate. But now I think spanking is.. if only because of the level of trust that entails!
    Great snippet, Ana!


  49. Sherilyn says:

    I never let love distract me so much that it affected my work. Now, school was a different matter! I was a good kid for most of high school and nearly trashed my college career because of guy. Turned out, he was engaged to three other women!

    If someone had spanked me on the second or third date, I would have dithered about whether we should continue or not and then run for the hills. I longed to be spanked for a very long time! On the other hand, it took years for me discover that my particular taste wasn’t weird or shameful.

    Oh, spanking, definitely! You’re so vulnerable and have to trust so much.


    • Sherilyn says:

      Forgot about the snippet–I hate hickeys. My hubby thinks they’re soooo much fun! Every now and again, he holds me down and gives me one. Makes me so mad!

      Spanked up against a wall? In a public-ish place? What an incredible turn on!


  50. normandiea says:

    Love your writing!
    1. I let my husband distract me from just about everything. But technically since I write romance maybe that’s “research” Lol.

    2. For me it’s not “spanking” per ce that’s more intimate than sex, but submission and D/s is. Personally, I find bondage the most intimate. Then flogging, then sex, then spanking.

    Happy Holidays!


  51. Kitty says:

    you seem to be about 3 hours ahead of me so i’m stealling a little time to do this. i dont usually get the comp until the kids have gone to bed.
    1 i’ve never been in a serious relationship so at this point no new loves to destract me. lots of other things thou.
    2 How would you feel if someone swatted your bottom on a second or third date? i’d think yummm
    3 Which is more intimate for you, spanking or sex? (Yes, you can only choose one! Yes, you MUST choose one.) blushes a hard one i’m a virgin yes a 50 year old virgin. i’ve never met anyone i wanted to do it with. so i’d have to say for me sex is more intimate.

    i love the snippet. i’m looking forward to being able to read it. when i can afford it.


    • Marybeth says:

      Kitty, there is nothing wrong with being a 50 year old virgin. It just means that you are waiting for the right one. I applaud your decision.


      • bellabryce says:

        Absolutely nothing wrong, in fact, everyone should applaud you. My husband and I were virgins until our wedding night when we were 22 and 23. Damn straight we’re proud. Wouldn’t have it any other way.


  52. Sarah says:

    Can’t I just say, “ya, what ^^^^they^^^^ said”?

    Of course I have let a new love interfere with my responsibilities. I’m a ‘jump first – think later’ kind of gal. Well I used to be.

    Choose one, spanking or sex. Hmmmm, I keep going back and forth on this one. If I have to choose, I guess I would say………um………er………well………..HM……….. Ok, here’s my answer…….. Sex.

    Not going to explain further. It’s just too much for my simple brain! 🙂


  53. pieclown says:

    Which is more intimate for you, spanking or sex?

    I say spanking. Sex is vanilla. Spanking is still a kink. You have to really trust someone to open up on that level. Telling someone you love that you want to spank them or get spank or both, could end the relationship. My sharing fantasies is great if you have the right person. I hope all in a great relationship love and cherish their partner, not matter how the paddle swings.


  54. Marybeth says:

    This is an interesting question. I have let love distract me from my responsibilities. Long time ago (in a galaxy far, far away 🙂 ) while I was in college, there was a guy in my group that I just hated. He was soo annoying! He was best friends with my boyfriend, so I had to put up with him. Then, about 5 months in, our feelings changed and we were in lust. I quickly broke up with the current boyfriend and arranged a rendezvous for the next day. I couldn’t wait (nether could he, lol) so we met up and I think we had sex for the next 4 hours. It was amazing. Of course, it only lasted a few months (remember he was annoying) and he and I moved on. But, I do have fond memories.

    I think spanking would be more intimate than sex. You have to trust the other person enough to let them in to your private thoughts. Sex can be intimate, but I think spanking would be more.


  55. Penelope says:

    Thanks for the snippet, Ana – really sexy and sweet. Just like you, aha.

    I’ll elegantly glissade past Q1…

    Q2. I’d be delighted! But then I have had spanking on the brain since forever.

    Q3. The two things overlap so much for me that I’m not sure I can separate them, to be honest. I can only say that both are extremely intimate.


  56. bellabryce says:

    1] Have you ever allowed new love to distract you from your responsibilities? How or how not?

    My now husband was my first and only love. So yes, he distracted me 🙂 I couldn’t think straight and anytime his name was mentioned even if it wasn’t him they were referring I blatantly blushed.

    2] How would you feel if someone swatted your bottom on a second or third date?

    My then fiance did. We only had one date before he bought me a ring. He proposed 3 months later when I saw him next and that’s when he let me have it. I knew it was love but that solidified it 😀

    4] Respond to the snippet any way you like.

    All right, I shall. Sash UNTIED.


  57. Tracey Horton says:

    Wow. Just made it!! Almost forgot with all my cookie baking and decorating. I’m in competition with Mrs. Claus!

    I, like Tara, am distracted STILL by my husband, 25 years married this year! I find myself searching for sexy and suggestive pictures for him on my phone and sending them in texts to him throughout the day. Totally distracted

    I think spanking is more intimate. I am pretty emotional –in just about everything. But in a spanking you break down and cry and show a vulnerability that doesn’t happen in sex. In sex it is ecstasy –in a spanking it is a release of emotions and showing a humility of sorts.


  58. constance Masters says:

    1 Yes but the thoughts in your head are usually what dostracts you even when it is about someone else.
    2 It would have been a long time ago but I imagine I would have loved it.
    3 Spanking is definetely more intimate than sex I think.


  59. PalomaBeck says:

    Enjoyed the excerpt. I do think spanking is more intimate. I can’t imagine engaging in it before being in a long-term committed relationship. See, even erotic suthors can be conservative. 😉


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