#ThursThreads flash fiction winner: a peek at a new story

 

After a hiatus, I participated in Siobhan Muir’s Thursday Threads flash fiction this week. How fun to receive this compliment from the judge:

Jeff Tsuruoka says: Perfectly captured slice of life. Just enough of the history between the characters is dropped in and it ends with a moment we’ve all lived through at least once in our lives. Love the clean, clear prose.

Hope you enjoy. 😀

—————

Audra slides her hand over my collarbone, slipping the satin pink bra strap over my shoulder. I bat her hand away and adjust my bra.

“Ouch,” she says, withdrawing to her end of the couch. “I took a shower this morning.” She picks up her neon pink coffee mug and takes a sip.

“I love you.” I scan my pile of papers, frantic to finish my report before the deadline. “I’m just…”

“Busy,” Audra offers. She takes another sip, watching me.

“I’ve got to finish before Grandma’s birthday party tonight.”

At the silence, I realize my mistake. “Look, I’m sorry. I know you want to go, but it’ll be tapioca pudding and cake with dull conversation.”

Two patches of pink appear on Audra’s cheeks, and she clinks her cup onto the ceramic mosaic coaster. We chose the set together when she first moved in. “You act like you’re ashamed of me.”

I groan. “We’ve gone through this a thousand times. That’s not how my family works.”

“Huh.” Audra stands up and carries her mug to the kitchen sink. “Thought I was part of your family.” She returns to the living room and sits in the chair furthest away from me.

I pound away for five full minutes until I give in. Audra has silent treatment down to a science. I can apologize, but it won’t change anything. “I need some space,” I plead.

“That can be arranged.” She stalks out of the room and slams our bedroom door.

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8 thoughts on “#ThursThreads flash fiction winner: a peek at a new story

  1. annapurna1951 says:

    I’m totally hooked! What happens next? Don’t leave me this way. There’s a lot of interpersonal mystery to solve and drama to witness! I hope there’s a happy ending. Thank you for sharing.

    Like

  2. annapurna1951 says:

    “That’s not how my family works…I need some space…”

    Those are dreaded words.

    Andria’s reaction is not only understandable; it would be my reaction too, especially after showering for what looks like a preplanned interlude.

    Just how much space does Andria’s girlfriend need and for how long, I ask myself? I might slam more than just the bedroom door if I had received such a rejection. Obviously, there’s more at stake than a deadline and grandmother’s birthday party, laced with tapioca pudding, cake, and dull conversation. Andria’s girlfriend (I’ll call her Sophia) hasn’t revealed her orientation to her family, in my estimation, and has kept her live-in partner a secret. There lies the conflict.

    If I were Andria, would I agree to such terms and resign myself to live only half a life? If I were young and naïve-struck, I might, at least at first; I’ve done far worse things.

    Andria’s call to duty is to herself and the future, if she has, indeed, any lasting prospects with Sophia. Andria needs to have a heartfelt talk with her partner about their relationship. After all, Sophia might harbor ambivalent feelings about their affair, as seen by her choice of words and attitude. She may very well love Andria, but she may also hold some of the same mores as her family who might be less than accepting should they discover Sophia’s true nature.

    The difficulty Sophia faces is this: while it’s a blessing to have the support and affection of one’s family, what will be the cost? As callused as this may sound, eventually Sophia’s grandmother and parents will pass away, leaving Sophia alone to piece together a life she could have had all along, but repudiated for the sake of mitigating her family’s homophobic discomfort if they had known about the secret relationship. Eventually, Sophia will have to choose; otherwise, Andria may thrust a decision upon her.

    Like

  3. Roz Harrison says:

    Congratulations Ana, wonderful comment from Jeff. I enjoyed this and would love to know what happens next 🙂 Very emotionally charged snippet and I love how you build in the background to the characters and their relationship.

    Hugs
    Roz

    Like

  4. catrouble says:

    Congratulations on the great compliment from the judge! I have to agree…this story is awesome…I can feel Andria’s hurt and feelings of rejection and now I have to wait to find out what happens?

    Hugs and Blessings…
    Cat

    Like

    • catrouble says:

      Hey Ana…I don’t remember if I replied to this post on my Kindle with it’s Oh so helpful auto-correct or if I wasn’t wearing my glasses but I apologize for getting Audra’s name wrong here.

      Like

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