I was asked an interesting question this week.
“What appeals to you about spanking?”
Short of pointing the asker to my blog, I wasn’t sure how to respond in a few words.
The asker continued, “Spanking doesn’t do much for me in the way of play.”
I paused and thought about it for a while. I found a few old blog posts on why I write about spanking:
- Writing my first spanking story (as a child)
- How I came to publish spanking fiction
- How writing spanking enabled me to move past the fiction writing block imposed by my dad’s cancer
- What I’ve learned about life by writing spanking stories
Those are some of my favorite posts from my years of blogging, but they don’t answer the original question.
There’s the sensual appeal, absolutely. The thrill, the tingly butterflies of anticipation, and drawn-out banter/flirting involved.
Then there’s intimacy. I know some people who would more easily forgive their partner sleeping with someone else than spanking someone else. I can understand that. It’s an act of immense trust, loyalty, and vulnerability.
There’s the power dynamic. M/F won’t do it for me, ever. A man who tries to joke about spanking me is lucky to keep his body parts intact afterward. A man who barely knows me and/or sends me pictures of naked body parts with talk of spanking…well, that’s why the internet gurus invented block, unfriend, and delete. But (for me only, as this is my blog), that supreme moment when one human being reaches out to help another human being become better…that’s powerful. Spanking as therapy has become a cliche and overused as a fetish, but for me the motivation remains pure. To find someone at her lowest, to use spanking as a physical act to accomplish what words cannot…to me, that is power. It’s also a way to ground someone into the here-and-now when the here and now becomes too painful (pun not intended). A few spanks hurt far less than the emotional turmoil needing resolution.
The act of (adult) spanking, in Ana’s world, is an exquisite moment of love. Sure, I enjoy a good joke and tease, but the actual act is as special as a child offering me her crayon drawing. It says, “Here I am. I trust you, I love you, and I’m willing to let you see me at my most vulnerable.” It also says, “I care about you, you are important to me, and I will honor the trust you’ve given me.”
While of course there are physical risks that come with spanking, the biggest (for me) is the heart. Trusting the wrong person can lead to heartbreak, and trusting the right person gives life affirmation in a way nothing else can.
(If you’ve read my books, you might point out that many of my characters, especially Kat and Natalie, use spanking for play. That’s because of the trust in their relationship; it’s not play for its own sake.)