10 Reasons Why You Should Hate Shoes

You should hate shoes. Really. Before I give you the ten reasons why, let me ask you a question.

Do you love your shoes? If you do, you’re in the majority. In an extremely scientific poll (I asked a bunch of my friends), 9 out of 10 women said they love shoes (error margin of plus or minus 9 people).

I’ll never understand shoe mania. Recently while researching shoes for a character’s outfit (I needed something stylish from the 1950s that would go well with a feathered hat and cigarette holder), I asked for help on Facebook. People fell over themselves to educate me about slingbacks, wedges, the various combinations of heel, toe, and strap, and a NSFW term for six-inch heels. (Ooh, strap! Darn, not that kind.) We agreed to disagree on the name for six-inch heels. (Stilettos. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.)

Last year for Ana’s Advent Calendar, Siobhan Muir talked about her love of shoes.

Are you ready for the reasons for hating shoes?

  1. Blisters. foot fungus, and other foot woes. Have you ever known someone to get blisters from going barefoot?
    .
  2. Cost. A good pair of shoes can cost $50, $100, or more. For $100, you could buy a new ereader, a night in a hotel, a tank of gas for a road trip, a Hitachi wand plus attachments, the Battlestar Galactica Blu-Ray set, the entire Anastasia Vitsky book collection, and the list goes on! Priorities, people. 😀
    .
  3. Potassium dichromate. Most good shoes are leather, and almost all (I’d say all but perhaps handmade Italian shoes, but there might be an exception) shoe leather is tanned with potassium dichromate. This is a chemical used in cleaning solutions and mixing concrete. I’m not making this up. Seriously, do you want this next to your skin? (“Vegan” leather, or leather tanned with natural materials, is safe.) If this is such a toxic substance, why do shoe companies use it? Easy. It’s cheap. Need I say more?
    .
  4. Artificiality. Sure, we need shoes to protect our feet from nails, hot/cold surfaces, and dangerous substances–but we don’t need shoes on our feet from the time we wake up until we go to bed. Take babies, for instance. They don’t wear shoes. In fact, it’s recommended for babies not to wear shoes while learning to walk. Wearing stiff shoes can interfere with grip and balance.
    .
  5. Germs. Shoes track in dirt, pesticides, germs, bubblegum, and all kinds of filth from outside. Wearing them inside the house is unhygienic, and it makes sweeping, vacuuming, and mopping necessary more often. Isn’t this reason enough to make you hate shoes?
    .
  6. Cost to health. Chronic foot problems, knee replacement surgery and twisted ankles are only a few of the hazards that go along with shoes for the fashion-conscious, particularly high heels. In addition, we often wear shoes that don’t fit well (such as a pointed toe box) in the name of fashion.
    .
  7. Storage space. No matter what shoe contraption I buy, I end up with shoes all over the place. (Point of reference: I regularly wear approximately five pairs of shoes. I can’t imagine what it’s like for those of you who own dozens, if not hundreds, of pairs.) When I go on a trip, shoes hog suitcase space. Can’t we all wear flip-flops and get along?
    .
  8. Poor fit. Unless you have your shoes custom made, they probably don’t fit. If you have wide toes and a narrow heel, good luck. If you have smaller or larger feet than “average,” don’t hold your breath. If you want shoes other than the current fashion … yep, you guessed it. Which brings me to my next point.
    .
  9. Planned obsolescence. The dictates of fashion and new construction methods that lead to cheaper products that break or are perceived as no longer functional (out of style). Straps break (ooh, more straps!), heels break off, holes appear, and in general only ugly shoes last for years. How much of enjoying shoes is true enjoyment, and how much is clever marketing designed to part us from our hard-earned money every time we see a shoe sale sign?
    .
  10. Getting spanked with a shoe hurts. ‘Nuff said.

How about you? Have you seen the light, or are you still a recalcitrant shoe lover?

 

Advertisements

30 thoughts on “10 Reasons Why You Should Hate Shoes

  1. sassytwatter says:

    I’m so torn! I love love love shoes! I like that they add a good few inches of height love the way they make my legs look. And the correct term for stilettos is CFS. But I agree shoes are suitcase hogs & some so damn painful they aren’t meant to actually walk in. Also yuck leave the shoes at the door but then I hate carpet it grosses me out for the same reason. I wear flip flops & slippers & wedges & ski high heels hanged my look depending on my mood. And spankingg w a shoe that’s just mean to the shoe!

    Like

  2. reneeroseauthor says:

    I am 100% with you– not because I don’t love shoes, but because of the terrible effects I see on people’s feet (and therefore entire structure/system) as a Feldenkrais Practitioner. I’m all about bare feet or barefeet type shoes…

    Like

  3. annapurna1951 says:

    I’ve worn shoes all my life, not in bed of course or in a swimming pool, and have never had a problem. Around the house, I wear socks.

    What would happen if shoes were gone tomorrow?

    Where I work, a medical manufacturing company, going barefoot is a real no-no. Besides, the production floor is cold. Lucky for me, I work in the officer area, but it, too, is chilly-willy. The carpet is also somewhat prickly. I just hate that. Besides, my feet might dry out.

    Being spanked by a shoe is just plain wrong. For that purpose, we have hands, hairbrushes, and straps, among other choice implements. So, your number ten doesn’t count. You were just piling on because you have too many shoes and don’t know what to do with them.

    About the tracking-in thing, bare feet can do an equally good job. Wouldn’t all the crud make our feet smell even worse? What do we tell someone who has stepped in a cow pie—take off your foot?

    Without shoes, what happens after we step in dog poop! We’d be wiping our poor little tootsies on the first convenient patch of grass, something hard to find in a big city with square miles of concrete.

    What do we ware skiing or ice-skating? It would be nearly impossible to hold our feet in place on those glorified tree branches while taking the lift up the slope or swoosh-bombing down the hill, and doing a Triple Lutz barefoot, well, I can’t imagine it. Sports commenters might soon call the barefoot version, Triple Klutz.

    What, I ask you, do we throw at two cats serenading at night, operatic style, at the top of their lungs no less, as they go about their romantic interludes under a full moon?

    When we want to go a little slower while walking with our partners who are wearing cross-fit shoes, what excuse do we give? Wait a minute; I need to tie my foot! That’s not convincing.

    If a woman is cooking in the kitchen and she happens to be both pregnant and barefoot, doesn’t that look bad? I mean, wouldn’t that be politically incorrect?

    Without high heels, wouldn’t runway models have to swing their hips even more for the same effect, which could lead to hip injuries and unnecessary worker compensation claims? What would love-struck, wealthy executives drink Champaign from to show their unweaving lust (I mean love) to their female escorts? Moreover, all floor-length gowns would require shortening. That could get expensive.

    Film critics my ask Hollywood to reclassify all spear and sandal movies to spear and foot movies. It just doesn’t sound the same.

    It’s hard to do a Michael Jackson moonwalk barefoot. Our feet would stick to the floor. Ballerinas would have a hard time maintaining point on their bare toes.

    The old adage, “To understand fully, you’ll need to walk a mile in his/her shoes,” would become meaningless. Walk a mile in his feet might require double amputation, reattachment surgery, antirejection drugs, rehab, and other complications. Similarly, we could no longer say, “If the shoe fits, wear it!” Lee Hazlewood/Nancy Sinatra’s hit single, “These Boots Were Made for Walkin’,” would require a serious rewrite if shoes became obsolete.

    Those are just some of the reasons for me being a shoe-a-holic and a die-hard holdout.

    Like

    • Anastasia Vitsky says:

      lol…I should clarify that I have no problem with wearing protective shoes while going outside. But protective shoes are a far cry from six-inch stilettos that serve no purpose other than fashion.

      A friend of mine used to tease me endlessly about spankings with a shoe. It’s rather a sore point for me. Literally. 🙂

      I do admit that wearing supportive shoes while cooking for long periods of time can be helpful. When I embarked on my 12-hour cookie-baking marathon last month, I did wear sandals to alleviate some of the foot and leg pain. However, there are also cushioned mats that can serve the same purpose.

      And now who is reaching? Models certainly don’t have to sway their hips for any reason.

      Hehe. Your comment made me smile.

      Like

      • annapurna1951 says:

        I’ve always been a problem child. It wasn’t my fault, you know.

        I still recall my second grade teacher getting upset and shaking me while I sat at my desk. Things were going pretty good until the desk fell on top of me. The class was mortified, mostly of her. I was an easygoing type, a real cutup. She just stood there fuming, a real sourpuss if you ask me. I was no Houdini either, so it took me a while to get up. At the time, I was a bit slow-witted and overweight, which didn’t help none.

        A month later, at night, she comes over to my house. I answered the door. In that brown coat of hers, she looked like the grim reaper—hooknose and everything. Mother sent me to my bedroom. I figured the beating would come next. The two of them were in the living room a long time, doing what, I don’t know, maybe exchanging life stories. After my teacher finally left, mother told me a really strange thing: my teacher, the woman in that tattered brown coat, the one with the hooknose, wanted to adopt me and came over to negotiate, without her husband of course.

        I swear to God it’s the truth.

        All I can say is this: that poor teacher would have been real sorry.

        Like

        • annapurna1951 says:

          Oh yeah, I forgot, which I do a lot of lately, no woman should feel a need to ever wear six-inch stilettos. My God, that’s sadistic! Those shoes only ruin feet and legs.

          Like

      • annapurna1951 says:

        “Models certainly don’t have to sway their hips for any reason.”

        Well, on the runways I watch they sure do. Those poor things are begging for a hip dislocation or a hip replacement by forty!

        Like

  4. pao says:

    Mm, I agree with flip flops and maybe boots because they take me places 🙂 And #5, I just don’t get people who wear their shoes out into the world and then all the way into their bed. Yuk. Maybe Ana should wear booties (made of neoprene and are about 1 – 3mm thick) 😀

    Like

  5. catrouble says:

    LOL Ana…I do love going barefooted but also love all my shoes, boots, flats, heels, flip flops, etc! Yes, I do have a lot. Oh and Ana…heels do to make me look taller!!!!! 😛

    Hugs and Blessings…
    Cat

    Like

    • Anastasia Vitsky says:

      Oh no. Every short woman I know thinks heels make her look taller, but it’s not the case. Short women in heels look like short women in heels. 🙂 Tall women in heels do look taller, though.

      Like

  6. minellesbreath says:

    I hate, hate– flip flops! They kill my back. I do like going bare foot. As a matter of fact I always went bare foot as a kid…and often was in trouble because of it. Lets see I stepped on nails, glass…well you get the picture. I never listened…
    I try to get shoes that are stylish but allow me to be on my feet for long periods of time!!

    Like

  7. Nina says:

    Ana, I see your points, and I know that many of my shoes are very unhealthy ones. Yes, and they take up a lot of room. And nevertheless, I am a hopeless case and love them all, their colours, the forms, the looks, etc.. 🙂 From flip flops to high heels, in the right moment, they make me feel special. I think they are the non-edible equivalent of chocolate and they can really help to brighten up days. Well, yes ok, walking barefoot is nice too and since it is healthy, I do that at home, in the garden, on the beach, but afterwards I want my shoes back. 🙂

    hugs

    Nina

    Like

    • Anastasia Vitsky says:

      Especially with the extra weight you’re carrying, you need good support! You wouldn’t let your toddler wear ill-fitting, ultra-fashionable shoes, would you? I hate seeing little girls wearing high heels unless it’s dress-up at home.

      Chocolate tastes much better than shoes. 😀

      Oh, I love walking along the beach and squishing my toes in the sand and water. Mm.

      Hugs back.

      Like

  8. mike p says:

    I’m the same about walking boots…we see people out in the hills with the heaviest boots on and two pairs of socks…oh their poor feet! I wear the lightest pair of approach shoes or fell shoes possible and in the summer, well there’s nothing like walking bare foot in the mountains – now that does get some funny looks from the ‘serious walkers’!!

    Like

    • Anastasia Vitsky says:

      I remember when the “bare foot shoes” were the rage. Now the company has had to pay a settlement because their claims weren’t true. Shoes help with warmth and protection from chemicals and sharp objects, but too often they lead to foot, knee, and back problems.

      Like

  9. jlgaynor says:

    I hate wearing shoes but I don’t have a choice. I’m extremely flat foot- like no arch flat footed- and I had to have surgery on one foot to correct some issues. Tendinitis in the other ankle makes shoes with supports a necessity but I spurn high heels completely. I’m more a dress flats girl for work, sneakers otherwise.

    Like

    • Anastasia Vitsky says:

      See, that’s a perfectly reasonable approach for shoes. Interestingly, Laura Innes (who played Kerry Weaver who walked with a limp on ER) had to “heal” her character through surgery because walking with a fake limp for ten years gave her leg and back problems. It just goes to show that we have to take good care of our bodies and not force them into unnatural positions.

      Like

    • Anastasia Vitsky says:

      I struggle with having company. I grew up with a shoes-all-the-time family, and going barefoot in front of company was a huge no-no. Usually I compromise and put on a pair of socks. 🙂

      Like

  10. Kelsey Summer says:

    I hate shoes, but for a different reason. I despise socks, tights, nylons, or anything like that. I’m happy in summer when I can wear flip flops and sandals. I’m not too crazy about being barefoot though because I’m deathly allergic to bees and terrified of stepping on one.

    Like

    • Anastasia Vitsky says:

      Oh, I wear (sensible) shoes outside. I can’t wear sandals without socks (I know, the fashion horror!) because of my health issues, but I remember the fun of wearing sandals. Ah, I miss that.

      And bees are nasty!

      Like

  11. Noelle Pierce says:

    I’m joining the pro-shoe movement here. I walk barefoot around my house, because, let’s face it, I don’t need them in the house. But my arches start to hurt after a while. I may not be ballerina-sized, but my feet are made for pointe. I need arch support, and heels (yes, those six-inchers) give me more support than flats. I had to work my way up to that high, though, so I get why people look at me like I’m nuts. As far as other reasons TO wear them? Posture. I stand up straighter, shoulders back, when I’m in heels. Even my flip-flops have a wedge heel, by the way. Also, my legs look WAY better in heels, because they force the muscles in my calves and thighs to flex. And any time I can detract from the spare tire around my waist, I’ll take it. I like my legs and show them off as often as possible, much like I wear low-cut tops. It’s all about the “don’t look at my middle” distraction. 😀 From a fashion standpoint, I like to wear dresses, and I *hate* the look of flats with dresses, no matter what Audrey Hepburn could pull off. Even if they make me 6+ feet tall and tower over everyone else, I will usually wear heels. Because, dammit, they’re effing sexy.

    Like

    • Anastasia Vitsky says:

      It’s true that legs look pretty awesome in heels. I understand people feeling attractive in a nice pair of shoes, but I don’t understand having more arch support in heels than flats. Ouch! Still, as long as it makes you happy, why not? And, personally, I’d rather see a tall woman in heels than a shorter one. I like when people wear shoes because they love them, not because they feel they must.

      And my new motto from M&M is that tall women are sexy. 😀

      Like

Thank you so much for joining the discussion! Please play nicely or you may be asked to stand in the corner. ;)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s