What would you give up for love? (Flash fiction)

What would you give up for love? If you had to choose between the love of your life and everything that made you who you are, what would you choose? Ciara continues her adventures in this sneak peek of my new work in progress, tentatively titled Living In Sin.

You can read the first sneak peek here.

(Reminder: Today is the last day to enter my drawing for the Hop Against Homophobia and Transphobia.)

————

I want to remind her of our first day together, sneaking kisses in between giggles as we pretended to discuss serious matters. “I love you.”

 

“Not enough to accept me for who I am.”

 

Tears sting my eyes. “You won’t accept me for who I am, either. I can’t tell my family about you. Not won’t, can’t.”

 

She bites her lip. “Have a nice life, Ciara. Do your next girlfriend a favor, and don’t date her. You’re not ready to be in a relationship with anyone until you get over your issues.”

 

I gape at her. “Don’t go,” I whisper.

 

“You’ve got some messed-up crap, and I should have seen it before. You want me to stay? Call your parents. Say they’ll have a new daughter-in-law as soon as marriage is legal.”

 

I stand, unable to move or speak, watching a split-screen movie in my head. On the one side is Audra, the only woman I’ve ever loved. On the other side are Grandma, Auntie Marge, Uncle Ted, Mom, and Dad. “Okay,” I whisper, praying that Grandma will find a way to forgive me.

 

“See, I told you…what?” Audra stares at me. “Okay, go?”

 

“Okay,” I say, trembling. “Tomorrow. I can’t do it tonight, not when they’re in bed already. I can’t.”

 

She keeps staring at me, trying to speak. Finally she gives an odd sort of nod. “I’ll sleep on the couch. I need some space.”

 

I shiver, rubbing my goosefleshed arms as she leaves our bedroom.

 

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8 thoughts on “What would you give up for love? (Flash fiction)

  1. Minelle says:

    Sometimes we aren’t ready. It’s difficult to separate our past and present. Often keeping everyone happy is a huge part of who someone is. The problem comes in reconciling what makes us ‘forever’ happy and keeping the peace.
    Not easy no matter what the choice.
    Great piece! I love it.

    Like

  2. catrouble says:

    Hey Ana…In part one, my heart went out to Audra…I could feel her pain of being kept hidden. Now in this part, I can feel Ciara’s pain of having to choose to love Audra or losing all of her family. You can’t push someone to make a choice like that…they have to come to it on their own. Is Ciara sure her family will reject her if they find out about her relationship with Audra? If so, shame on them! Maybe Ciara could start out bringing Audra to meet her family as a friend and roommate…let her family get to know Audra and let Audra get to know the family and what they are like.

    No matter how you resolve this one, I foresee a lot of tears in reading but am definitely looking forward to more of their story. Thank you for sharing!

    Hugs and Blessings…
    Cat

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    • Anastasia Vitsky says:

      It’s a situation that’s inherently unfair to both parties. Being rejected by family is not unusual, not when complete strangers feel entitled to call same-sex relationships disgusting, immoral, and an abomination. There are many families that will never accept, no matter what. Hopefully, though, we’ll find meaning as we watch Audra and Ciara go through their journey. 🙂

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  3. annapurna1951 says:

    What can I possibly say beyond what Minelle and catrouble have already stated so well?

    Eventually, Ciara must accept the consequences of who she is and her family’s reaction. It’s just a matter of time before Ciara’s family finds out anyway. Maybe there’s no better time like the present to tell them?

    In this scene, Audra is not being reasonable and is forcing the issue. Ciara needs support and Audra’s relationship-ending threat, followed by wanting to sleep separately, is not helping matters. If Ciara’s family reacts badly, or even rejects her, such an outcome could have a serious impact upon their relationship, and could even end it. Realistically, we need the support of our families and the community to help us through the difficult times we sometimes face being in our primary love relationships.

    Catrouble stated it well by expressing empathy for both women. I, too, feel the same way. What I find especially difficult is my sense of helplessness concerning the issues facing both women. I also feel some frustration over how they have handled their relationship thus far. I assume they are young, which accounts for their mistakes and Ciara’s reluctance to tell her family.

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    • Anastasia Vitsky says:

      I’m not sure if it’s just a matter of time. I know people who have hidden things from their family for all of their lives, and other cases when trying to talk with family has led to breakdown of the entire relationship. LGBT youth have been kicked out of their parents house, and in fact there are homeless shelters specifically set up for this purpose.

      Oh, and Audra was originally Andria. You didn’t misread. 🙂 I realized that “Andria” and “Ciara” were too close as names, so I modified Andria into Audra.

      Like

      • annapurna1951 says:

        I know what it’s like to keep very large secrets, mine and others, for a very long time, and in some cases for life.

        My comments were limited to your story only and were not meant as generalizations for anyone to follow. Each LBGT family situation is unique, and any decision to disclose or remain silent must be weighed very carefully. There will always be consequences no matter what. Some will be large and relationship-ending, and others will be relatively minor.

        Ciara has given Audra an ultimatum: tell your family or I’m gone. This makes for great drama, but creates a potential nightmare in real life, hence my frustration with Ciara, who carries some of the responsibility, I believe.

        For example, did she ask Audra about her current family status regarding disclosure? I don’t know. I haven’t read your story—yet. I bet she didn’t until they moved in together. Oopsy! There’s an oversight, or she did and Audra lied about it. That makes for even better drama!

        Sooner or later, though, Audra’s family will know after she turns, let’s say forty or so, and is still single and never speaks of any men in her life other than work colleagues. In time, her family will figure it out, but may remain silent about it. One day, though, an inebriated family member might let slip a long-held family observation about Aura’s true orientation. Damage control at that point could be difficult.

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