Late Thursday thankfulness: the reality behind #WhyIStayed and #WhyILeft

Life has gotten complicated very, very fast.

Long story short: I moved my friend, baby, and cat into my home this week after her husband’s violence escalated. We’re all struggling to take each step forward. She is as safe as we can hope for now, although there are risks involved with her going to work.

This means I am not going to be available most of today and a good part of tomorrow. We’ve gotten what numbers we can for legal aid and other resources, but there’s only so much we can do until we get answers.

I am overwhelmed, not by having her with me but the sheer exhaustion of playing chauffeur, chef, nanny, housekeeper, personal assistant, and resource manager. I’m not feeling terribly thankful, so this is the time I need thankfulness the most. Reasons I am thankful:

  • Friend and baby are out of danger.
  • My wonderful quilting grannies are giving what help they can so friend can start building a support network independent of her husband.
  • Baby is adjusting to new situation. Of course there are issues, but overall he is happy, eating well, and playing.
  • I have a wonderful network of friends who can listen, support, and help me with my own issues as we go through this. It’s bringing up a lot of emotional stuff for me, and we’re taking it one day at a time.
  • I am thankful I was able to leave a relationship in my past that placed me in danger.
  • I am thankful to have a home, car, credit card, bank account, and computer. Hard to get by without the essential paperwork.
  • I am thankful for friends who stayed up late last night to talk me down from a breaking point. I think neither my friend nor I realized just how vast the ramifications would be when I said to her, “Do you want to come home with me?” I want her safe with me instead of in danger, but it’s going to take a lot of grace, strength, and pure stubbornness on both sides to get through this.
  • I am thankful for friends who have been in similar situations who can be resources. One is visiting from out of town next week, and she escaped a horrible situation when we first became friends. She’s made it, and there are quite a few others in my circle of friends who have made it.

Thankful for safety. Will be thankful for sleep when I can get it, too. 🙂

Love and hugs.

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17 thoughts on “Late Thursday thankfulness: the reality behind #WhyIStayed and #WhyILeft

  1. Minelle says:

    You are a wonderful person to help a friend in need no matter how difficult it will be for you.
    I hope that resources available to women and children in need will help.
    Remember that you will need time and space yourself so you can be there for your friend and her baby.
    Stay safe-all of you Ana.

    Like

  2. abby says:

    Oh Anna..i hope you realize how much of a blessing you are to so many people…..near and far. My mom always tells me…remember you have to take care of yourself too….
    hugs abby

    Like

  3. Renee says:

    Oh Ana, having first hand experience in domestic violence so thankful for friends like you. Opening your home and heart to provide a safe place. Don’t forget to take of you. It’s important when caring for others

    Thankful for people who are willing to step out of their comfort zone to make a difference in someone else’s life.

    Sitting alone in a hospital waiting room. Hubby in surgery. Thankful for children who send texts full of emoticons to make mom smile.

    Will be thankful for sleep (eventually) too.
    Blessings

    Like

  4. terpsichore says:

    I am so glad that you are able to be there for your friend and baby. I wish you strength, love, hope, and positive energy that all will be well and safe for your friend and new beginnings… Hugs

    Like

  5. Leigh Smith says:

    Ana, you have to save some of you for yourself, be mindful of that. In order to give to others you first have to give to yourself so please remember that. I’m so glad you have a support network and your friend has such a friend.

    Like

  6. pao says:

    You are an amazing person, Ana. I hope the road to stability and empowerment gets less bumpy for your friend. Please do take care of yourself. I hope you, your friend and her baby get all the love and support you three need. Stay safe, Ana.

    Like

  7. Katie says:

    What a wonderful thing that you are doing for your friend, Ana! She is blessed to have you by her side. 🙂 I agree with the others, make sure that in taking care of them, you are taking care of you. Hugs, love and prayers sent straight on out to you,

    ❤ Katie

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  8. Downunder Don says:

    I am thankful that there are many people like you who are prepared to sacrifice their comfort to ensure another’s well being. Just remember it is critical important that you look after yourself as well as your friend in need

    Like

  9. catrouble says:

    I am so thankful to call someone as loving and giving as you my friend. Sending prayers and positive energy that your friend stays safe and you are able to get her resettled soon. So thankful for your quilting grannies and their loving hearts.

    If there is anything I can do…even if you just need an ear…any time…I am here.

    Hugs and Blessings…
    Cat

    Like

  10. Sherilyn says:

    Bless you, Ana; sending love and prayers for all of you. I had friends who moved me and my son out of a bad situation years ago. It takes a very special, loving commitment from people to help someone out of danger like that, particularly because one tends to be so helpless at first. You are truly a gift to us all.

    Like

  11. Anastasia Vitsky says:

    Thank you, everyone.

    Sorry for the group reply but I’m afraid that’s how the ball bounces these days. 🙂

    Minelle: Hugs and thank you.

    DelFonte: It’s a tricky balance! Thank you.

    Abby: Aw, I am grumpy and stressed and short-tempered, just like anyone else. And yes, dear friends have been reminding me to put on my own oxygen mask before that of others. It’s a good reminder. Hugs.

    Renee: The scary part is what might have happened. We still don’t know if she is out of the woods, but for now she is safe and that is all that matters. I hope you got sleep! I did not, but I got a very little work done and that helps with the stress level.

    How is your husband? Awww. 😦 I hope things are okay and he is as well as can be expected? Thank you so much for stopping by when you are busy with your own difficulties.

    Terpsichore: So sweet and exactly what I needed. We both thank you, dear friend.

    Leigh: Thank you. I’m working hard to begin creating a support network for my friend. She needs a village to help raise her and her baby, even if it’s only a temporary one.

    Pao: Still grumpy Ana here. 😀 Hugs and thank you very much, sweet little brat.

    Katie: My friend probably is thinking, “I didn’t know Ana was this hard to live with!” Hehe. Thank you for the needed reminders. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Hugs.

    Sassytwatter: So wish I could squeeze your new little one. Congratulations and thank you for making me smile. Hugs back.

    Don: I’ve been in situations where I desperately needed help. Sometimes people did, and sometimes they didn’t. I’ve seen how much it devastates me when no one came through for me, vs. how much it gave me strength when someone did. We all do what we wish we could have had for ourselves, right? Thank you so much for stopping by.

    Louisa: Hugs and love to you. Thank you for being so supportive.

    Constance: Much needed and appreciated. Thank you. ❤

    Cat: Thank you for your sweet thoughts and good wishes. Certainly are needed. Hugs back.

    Sherilyn: The difficult part is not the crisis (naturally that's all part of helping out), but all of the non-essential things. I still have deadlines to meet and bills to pay, and taking extensions subtracts money from my paycheck and makes things more difficult in the long run. So I'm listening to the good advice and doing what I need to protect my ability to be a good friend. Things like making sure I get my work done, get sleep, etc. 🙂

    Thank you to each and every one of you for your warm thoughts. It's so much appreciated.

    Like

  12. Roz Harrison says:

    Oh my gosh Ana, I am so sorry to hear about the situation with your friend. You are such a wonderful friend to open your home and provide any help you can to her. I think it’s lovely the Grannies are also doing what they can to help.

    Sending positive thoughts and prayers to you all as you work through this.

    Huge (((Hugs)))
    Roz

    Like

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