Who has a one-night stand?

Hi, everyone! I’ve missed you.

I know. That sounds silly, doesn’t it? I’ve been here every day, more than usual. I’ve put up a post every day for over a month now, even if it hasn’t been mine. I miss the fellowship of the Advent Calendar, but I’m grateful to start catching up on paperwork and writing deadlines. The last of the Advent Cards have been stuffed into envelopes, addressed, stamped, and mailed. The prizes (except Perfect Attender books) have been awarded and distributed. Perfect Attender book prizes will be determined by New Year’s Day. I’ve got a lot to catch up on, so thank you for your patience. 🙂

I have so many emails and messages from you, the most wonderful readers I could ever have. How can I say thank you with sincerity when I haven’t gotten to answer the most basic? Eek! I haven’t been able to answer comments except for the past few days, and even while blogging every day I feel disconnected.

I miss you. I want to stay in touch more, but we’re all busy. How we can do this?

I want to post more, but I can’t always reply to comments. I feel awful. When I first started blogging, I saw established bloggers ignore comments and vowed never to do the same. How terrible, I thought. How snooty and self-absorbed, to discount the time and effort readers put in to visiting one’s site! I would never do that!

Then life got busy, and by busy I mean rollercoaster frantic. It may not seem that busy from the outside because I’ve only had two publications for 2014 (well, four if you count the anthologies), but I’ve written far more than that. One will be published in March, two are under contract without a definite timeline, and well…the others I can’t tell you about. 🙂

The Seasonal Spanks events grew larger, and we expanded into collecting the stories into an anthology. We added special features to the events, all wonderful but time-consuming. Something Good swallowed up a month and a half (and continues to take time), in addition to my first two author conferences.

But you know what I miss? Posting here every day or most days, chatting with you, and getting to have fun as silly, crazy Ana instead of trying to calculate how far I can fall behind deadlines before Evil Mistress Kate finds me where I live. I have three deadlines all saying wooosh as they fly by, and I keep flip-flopping which to finish first.

I chose the one furthest past its due date, struggled with it, and hated it some more. I’ve worked on it in bits and pieces over the past two years. I love the story, love the premise, and love the planned ending…

But I hate the protagonist.

“Hate” is too strong of a word, but I don’t like her. She has a one-night stand, and one-night stands are not in the typical realm of Ana stories. To have a one-night stand, she has to be a different kind of character than I usually write. Can you see Kat having a one-night stand, or Karielle? Or Mira, for that matter, even before she hooked up with Hana?

No, my heroines tend to be fairly conservative. They might fall in love at first sight, but the passion takes years to develop. Mira and Hana might welcome Trinity into their playtime, but they’re not a threesome. Well, not exactly. 🙂 I write committed, monogamous relationships.

What does a one-night stand change? How much does it need to change? Can a committed, monogamous character have a one-night stand despite her typical behavior, or is a one-night stand character a different creature altogether?

What sort of character has a one-night stand, and can I like this character? Can I give Indigo the same respect and affection that I give to, say, Karielle whose society forbids her from touching another adult woman besides her life partner?

Of all my characters, Mira is the party girl. She is the one who would have fun, but she is not the one who initiates relationships. That’s Hana, unabashed Hana with her splurting apples and colored panties.

As I struggle with this two-year-old WIP and hope to get it off my docket, the question churns inside of me.

Who has a one-night stand?

In the meantime, please enjoy these free stories:

Elf Pizelle’s Very Bad Day

Hana and Mira’s Christmas with Nurse Trinity (Mira and Hana Free Story #1)

Apple Pie Order (Bastia Free Story #1)

Parental Training (Bastia Free Story #2)

Ice Cream Sandwich (Mira and Hana Free Story #4)

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29 thoughts on “Who has a one-night stand?

  1. JoanneBest says:

    Obviously I put myself in a corner for way too long and missed out on all the fun 😦
    BUT, my New Year’s resolution is to get back in the saddle and ride Sally ride. I’m looking forward to reading many many awesome things you wrote while I was in self-imposed exile (that sounds a little better than saying I was uber depressed and have been spending all my time driving my 87 year old Dad to all his social engagements I mean Doctor appointments 😀 )

    I miss you.

    As far as your one night stand thingy, in my younger single years, after a harsh breakup with an abusive boyfriend I dabbled in the one night stand pond a little bit, and IMHO, I really do believe you can have a character retain her integrity even if she acts out of character for one night; there are so many reasons it could happen and sometimes it can be a healing thing for both parties involved, depending on the circumstances of course.
    Truth: I had what I intended to be a one night stand with a boy I met at a bar, 34 years later we are still together and married.
    Truth: I had what I intended to be a one night stand with a ‘rock star’ because I was an 18 year old virgin and just wanted to not be a virgin. For 2 years we had ‘one night stands’ until he moved to Paris and was killed in a car crash.

    My point; I don’t consider myself a bad person, I did what I did and everything I did made me what I am today, so yes, I believe you can write a one night stand without compromising your character’s integrity.

    Why is it that I can not talk to you for nearly a year yet still feel comfortable enough to spill my personal guts? lol

    Oh, and not only do I miss you, but I love you <3. You always make me feel good about myself 😀 xox

    Like

    • Anastasia Vitsky says:

      The thing about the corner, Miss Joanne, is that it’s to teach you a lesson. Not to allow you to hide from the world. Tsk! Sounds like Mrs. Claus needs to make an extra stop to turn you back into a good girl. Loved your latest blog posts and glad to see you are keeping it up.

      Sometimes we ebb and flow, need more of connection and then less. I think it works out in the end. And don’t worry…Love Spanks will be here before you know it. 😀

      I see what you mean. There are so many reasons behind what we do, right? Maybe I was struggling with my perceptions of what a one-night stand might mean.

      I missed you, too! Get back here more often or I’ll forbid you from going to the corner, missy!

      Like

  2. Tina S says:

    I enjoyed the advent calendar very much! I am still trying to get caught up on the books I purchased. With the kids being on vacation, I haven’t been able to read a book a day as I usually do. I did finish the two Kat and Natalie books but have to read all extras that were posted, so far I only managed 2 of them. And since I don’t see chapters I’m at Play Time in Becoming Clissine. So far I love it. I love your writing and hope to read everything your published. So the only books o NEED to buy next are Simple Gifts, Editorial Board, The vengeance of Mrs. Claus, and Love’s Reprise. What book would you recommend I read after I finish milestones?

    Like

    • Anastasia Vitsky says:

      Oh wow, I hope you liked Kat and Natalie! 😀 And don’t forget that there are quite a few Kat and Natalie stories over at katsitting.wordpress.com. I’m glad you like Becoming Clissine, too. I think I’d suggest Simple Gifts next. It’s one of the most popular ones, and Love’s Reprise contains the short story sequel. Plus, you’ve already met Carene and Leila from the Advent Calendar.

      Thank you so much!

      Like

      • Tina S says:

        I love Kat and Natalie. I think in a lot of ways I’m like Kat, including the wine and pills, but once for me. I read 2 of the stories at katsitting and will finish the others after I finish the other 2 books, that way it can read the extras you posted. And I will take your advice and read Simple Gifts after

        Like

  3. Renee says:

    Ana, why not??? Two things stand out in your post. 1) Can you write a character who has a or many one night stands? Why not??? You have a wonderful, vivid imagination that can write anything. You need to look at it from a different angle or direction. Is this character someone in a committed relationship that cheats with a one night stand or someone free from commitment that is just having fun? Indigo is obviously not Mira or Kat but that doesn’t mean you can’t like her as much as them. She is different. Like children everyone is different but we can still find good in them and love them for who they are. Not who they should be. We love them right where they are… no matter what. 2) Stop writing where you are at and work on a different part of the story. The biggest word that stood out in your blog was the word “planned.” Let go of the planned and start free writing ideas around the premise you have. See if it opens up a different direction or maybe even a (heaven forbid) different ending. I know I am a reader and not a writer but I have written many boring, dry papers while finishing my degree in the last couple of years. So many times I knew exactly where I was headed in the paper and then when I actually forced myself to sit down and write, the paper went in another direction. My inability to quickly switch gears caused many late, late nights of frustration. One trick I used was to stop what I was working on and work on another part of the paper. I don’t have any clue whether this trick would work on a real book but it is worth the try.

    Lots of people have one night stands. Not saying it is right or wrong, just playing devil’s advocate. Why does a character that has a one night stand become automatically bad and unlovable? Maybe it just makes her not respectable? Does it destroy the relationship she is in? Why or why not? Is there something driving the desire for a one night stand? How does that play out in the story? What if it was your child?

    Ana, I will ask again… why not??? You can create anything or anyone you dream up. And you will love her because she, like Mira, Kat, and Clissa are your characters. Just like our children, we may not like certain behaviors or activities but we continue to nurture and love them.

    I am sure you have heard all this before but sometimes it helps to hear it again. Happy New Year!

    Love and Blessings. R

    Like

    • Anastasia Vitsky says:

      You know, that is a great point. I hadn’t thought of it from that perspective, but you’re right. I’m trying to write something planned, when all of my best stories don’t work that way. All of the freebie stories have been me sitting down to write whatever the heck comes to mind, and it’s been satisfying. I’ve loved it. It’s made me wonder why I can’t love writing Indigo the same way, but of course. I was a different writer two years ago, and the story needs to reflect who I am now. Not who I was then. I started writing Kat and Natalie ten years before they became a book, and they changed enormously in the meantime. They were still the same people, but they had entire aspects to their lives that I hadn’t considered. Indigo and Hyunkyung need the same thing.

      You’re right. If Indigo were my child, I’d love her and understand her no matter what she did. It’s a good suggestion.

      Thank you so much! ❤

      Like

  4. SH says:

    I’m very excited to hear you are writing cuz I just love your books. They always take me on a journey 🙂

    I have never had a one night stand so I can’t attest to it personally, but I don’t think it is always a bad thing and maybe Indigo (love her name btw) had a reason why she did it or maybe she grew from the experience…..

    You got this girl, I have a ton of faith in you 🙂

    Like

    • Anastasia Vitsky says:

      Aw, you are so sweet! I have my very own cheerleading squad. ❤ I'm glad you like her name. I hope you like this story once it's done. Crossing fingers…and kicking myself into gear. Faith much appreciated!

      Like

  5. AFOdom says:

    When it comes to sex, a 1NS can be a healthy thing if those involved approach it in a healthy manner — non-exploitative, emotionally and physically safe, with clear boundaries set on both sides, and mutual respect.

    I read a M/M book recently with a great 1NS scene in it. The book was Changing Plans, and it might be worth checking out to see how that scene feels. While their relationship does develop into something more, one of the men is someone who has definitely had plenty of 1NS encounters in his past. But there’s a clear impression that all of them have been healthy and fun for everyone involved, because that’s how this guy approaches one night stands.

    Even a 1NS encounter can have affection and an unusual kind of love to it, if that’s how the initiator approaches such things. That might be a way to love Indigo – she loves sex, she loves women, and she sincerely respects and has affection for anyone who happily shares her bed. If she’s only ever had the single 1NS, she might remember it very fondly and sometimes wonder what happened to the other woman. Maybe it was a single night that fell a little like falling in love, even though they went their separate ways.

    Hopefully this helps – it’s hard to say, not knowing the characters the way you do. 🙂

    Like

    • Anastasia Vitsky says:

      And this is where my religious background tells me something very different. 🙂 That really is the issue for me. I have opinions about one-night stands that I won’t share here, because it’s not my place to judge and this isn’t the right forum, anyway. But it’s impeding my ability to write. There is a factor that makes this all work out for me, but I can’t say. 😀

      But yes…Indigo has a real reason for what she does. Do I approve of it? I’m not sure. But I need to understand. You’re right.

      Like

  6. awesomesub says:

    Hi Ana, I have no idea what your protagonist will be like, but if you want her to have one-night stands, maybe it is just for fun, only the sex, no commitment.
    On the other hand she would have some deep-running problems and her behaviour expresses her inability to cope with the situation she is in.
    If she had a background of sexual abuse and violence, she would (given enough time) have ways in how to deal with her past experiences and go through different stages with it too. If such terrible things happen to teenagers, their ability to trust and to connect to others is harmed easily and this might include that they do not have the means to develop a healthy (=not self-destructive) sexuality for a long time. They could retreat, and sex might only have negative connotations for ages. Once a sort of healing sets in, they might try to compensate and where they did not have sexual contacts before, they have several then. This is not superficial, but it can look like it for outsiders.
    Often you might have this paired with a limited ability to have a serious relationship, which is even more horrible if somewhere inside you long for someone to be with you.
    So, if your protagonist was like that, she’d look for love, connection and someone to rely on, but chances are high that she has endless trouble in finding her soulmate, because she’d back off from getting into deeper emotional contact. Gloomy.
    Alternatively, she might simply come to terms with past events. But maybe she would not exactly have one-night stands then. Perhaps it is all completely different. She might just be super-clever, is pretty much in control and is still looking for her soulmate who has to be a match for her.

    I love reading your blog, and with that I also mean the comments (I have missed your comments, too, and shame on me, because I have not been an avid commenter either, lately. Sorry!). But everybody knows that you have been pretty busy this year and the last thing you should do is create additional pressure. Instead you should simply blog the way you like best. I mean, if blogging becomes too much of an obligation, the fun of it could be diminished and that would be a real pity.

    hugs

    Nina

    Like

    • Anastasia Vitsky says:

      I love to blog…I just feel guilty blogging when I don’t give commenters the attention I should. But at the same time, sometimes I think I could spent the time replying to comments or I could write a new blog post. Now with the dust settling after Advent Calendar, maybe things will smooth into a better pace. I’ve gotten some fantastic ideas from today’s conversation, though, so thank you very much! Let’s see what Indigo can do. 😀 I hope I’ll have a good report.

      Like

  7. Blondie says:

    Just to share, my husband was my first and only one night stand. We met in a bar and I took him home. He has a gorgeous butt and he was so upfront and honest that I had to bring him home. I had just gotten out of a relationship where my BF had just been a big fat liar so I really appreciated someone being honest. I occasionally saw him around campus but we didn’t start going out for about a month. So some one night stands to end well.
    You are always one to go out on a limb. If it isn’t Indigo that does certain things that you don’t think she should/would you might have another character in a different book that will do other stuff. You are the author, you get to create the character.
    Happy New Year

    Like

    • Anastasia Vitsky says:

      Wow, Blondie, I had to rescue your comment from the spam bin! Not even the pending, but the actual spam. Goodness, what is wrong with wordpress? I never check my spam because WP is usually perfect in its filter, so I nearly missed you. LOL that is so cute about your husband. I love that your one night stand turned into a long and strong marriage. Lovely to see you, and thank you for stopping by!

      Like

  8. Mary M. says:

    Many great answers, written much more elaborately than I am capable of. I think a one night stand could be dysfunctional or functional, depending on the character’s backstory and motivations. If there is a block in the way of writing , it may be because the character as you have written her so far would find the action to be dysfunctional. Or I may be just talking out of my hat.

    Like

  9. catrouble says:

    So happy to see you sweet Ana. I’m with Mary…so many great answers written here. Regarding one night stands…I had one but it wasn’t my choice…I was recovering from the end of a very bad situation. I had met this man and thought he and I had more of a relationship but once I gave in to him, I never heard from him again. Maybe he was a user and I was a challenge or maybe I came off as too needy. Your Indigo may have the same issues I had or maybe not…you are an awesome author and write so beautifully so I am sure that you will make your stories work. Looking forward to reading them!

    BTW…with everything you have going…please make sure you are taking good care of Ana!

    Hugs and Blessings…
    Cat

    Like

    • Anastasia Vitsky says:

      Yes, today has been a lovely surprise! Wow, who knew I just had to go to my smart readers for a ton of ideas? 😀

      I have a feeling your situation isn’t that unusual. Once we do give in, suddenly the person disappears. Of course, in the fantasy of fiction we get to give the happy endings we might not have in real life. It is so much to give away, and for that not to be reciprocated is a tragedy.

      Well…finishing deadlines is good for my health. Hehe. 😀

      Like

  10. Chickie says:

    I’ve been terribly busy with work and just now catching up. Love love love these short stories. All your characters are loaded up on my nook… gotta get reading them again. I tend to have a handful reading at once, going back and forth. Darned ADHD lol.

    I’ve noticed while I write (granted it’s for little ones!) sometimes a character gets carried away and does things I don’t think she should. I was talking to my daughter about this and she asked why I didn’t just fix it. It’s not that easy though. I couldn’t explain it. My characters are human like animals… I can just imagine how an adult character could get away from me in that same way.

    One night stands, yes many. It was a phase of my life and i take all the blame for the one nightedness. I was at a very broken point and truly couldn’t handle the emotional intimacy of a second time or even getting to know each other. Can’t imagine that now and it really troubles me at times. I came out okay in the end, I think 😉

    Like

    • Anastasia Vitsky says:

      Oh Chickie, let it goooooo. 😀 And you’re right! The characters always surprise me. Sometimes in a good way, sometimes bad. Put a wooden spoon in your character’s hand and.. lol! You get the picture.

      I think that’s what I object to, the hurt. One night stands can devastate for a lifetime. But maybe sometimes we do what we can endure at the time? I am glad you came out okay. Turkey and all.

      Like

  11. annapurna1951 says:

    Hello, Anastasia Vitsky,

    A committed, monogamous character with a conservative disposition can, indeed, have a one night stand. With erotic impulses coursing through us much of the time, it’s a matter of relaxing one’s ego boundaries to permit such a liaison. The presence of drugs, alcohol, or emotional need makes it that much easier.

    A one-night stand changes nothing in a character’s personality unless you, the author, desire it.

    There are many reasons for a person to make one-night stands a lifestyle. Romantic cynicism, interpersonal fatalism, unbridled hedonism (rare), repetition neurosis as a means of overcoming past emotional trauma, and psychic numbing are only some of the reasons.

    Are you able to like such a character and treat them with respect and affection? Only you can answer that question. If you have a strong bias against promiscuous behavior, you might find it difficult. Perhaps the question you need to ask yourself is this: can I have compassion and empathy for such a person?

    Like

    • Anastasia Vitsky says:

      Hello Anna! So nice to see you again. I had wondered if you wandered off into the great unknown, never to return again. That happens all too often in blogland, I’m afraid.

      I do disagree that a one-night stand doesn’t have to change a personality–sex always changes us. How can it not? Even if we *think* it doesn’t mean anything, two bodies have shared intimacy. It can turn into love, hatred, indifference, or something in between, but it will forever change the two people who participated in it.

      If you look at the post I wrote the next day, you’ll see that I came to a new understanding of Indi. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Like

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