Saying good-bye to a beloved friend because of death after a long and fulfilled life is sad, but saying good-bye to people who are still alive but no longer able to remain in our lives is much harder.
It doesn’t get easier to see my friend’s empty pew spot in church and walk by after communion, remembering how her face would light up whenever she saw me. I’ve tried sitting on the other side of church so I won’t see her spot, but I always look anyway.
Today, as I say good-bye to people who are still alive but no longer part of my life, I wonder what is easier:
To have only positive, sweet memories with no chance of ever seeing that person again?
Or to have equal parts love and pain, hoping despite an intelligent functioning brain that should know better, simply because the person is not yet dead?
If I were my quilting granny friend, I think I’d find some way to still love, no matter what. How grateful I am to have been touched by her life, and how surprising–months later–to recognize how her loss has changed me.
This year, I resolve to spend more time with the people who offer uncomplicated love…and to give less of myself to those who don’t.
Just a few thoughts on this Tuesday.
Sending you all love, hugs, and a little well-deserved swat. 🙂