What I’ve learned from three years of blogging

WordPress tells me that today is my third anniversary of blogging.

I’m confused about statistics, but:

  • 756 posts or 1308 (I am not sure why the discrepancy!)
  • 26, 656 comments (You’re all a chatty bunch!)
  • 24, 657 spam comments (Thanks for slaying them, Akismet!)
  • 4,060 followers (This always amazes me. I still remember the excitement of my first follower!)

However, numbers can’t express the journey of blogging. I came into the blogging three years ago, unsure of myself and wondering whether anyone would listen to me. I was not married to a man who spanked me for discipline, and all of the other DD (domestic discipline) blogs seemed to be about that.

I put up a few posts, met a few friends, and then put up some stories. A few months later, I had a book contract for what would become The Way Home, the first installment of Kat and Natalie.

Three years ago, I didn’t know whether anyone would read my blog. I thought I would be dismissed for not being like all the other DD blogs. Some did dismiss me, but others stuck around until they became friends, readers, and miscreants.

Today, the majority of my readers have never heard of DD. I’ve made friends in the LGBT community, at two author conferences, and on various social media. I’ve engraved wooden spoons to give away, made cookies to give away, and am now putting together 36 party favor bags for my online birthday party on Sunday. Let me know if you need an invitation!

What have I learned in three years?

  • People will read F/F.
  • People who refuse to read F/F aren’t my people, anyway…so why should I care?
  • Some will come and go, but some will stay for the duration. Either way, everyone has given me something. Maybe it’s an example of what not to be, but it’s still a lesson learned.
  • Success is not doing whatever I think others expect from me, but doing what I can do to the best of my ability.
  • A good friend smiles and shakes her head at my love of wooden spoons. A great friend pays to have one shipped to her, styles it in a photo shoot, and cherishes it a year later.
  • Not everything has to be reciprocal.
  • Well-intentioned people will have strong opinions about what I should do, think, write, and feel. At the end of the day, listening too much to other people will make my writing shallow. I was told so often that Natalie was too harsh. I should make her more like the kindly husbands who gave their wives a few swats and lots of love. I made Natalie less harsh, and in the end it probably was right for that story. But in Mistress on Her Knees, I didn’t censor myself. Graciela and Trinity are not afraid of niceties, and their story satisfies me in a way that Natalie’s did not.
  • Powerful women are sexy.
  • Spanking is sexy, but it doesn’t have to be about a man and a woman.
  • At first, I was afraid of homophobia and made my stories non-sexual. Then, I was afraid of kinkaphobia and made my lesbian stories less kinky. Now, I glory in my kinky women who love women…and I think you do, too. It’s not kink for its own sake or just to show off, but it’s about powerful women who own their power and are comfortable in who they are. Or who are not, but they are disciplined by someone who helps them to become comfortable.

Three years ago, I didn’t think anyone would read my free blog. Now, I have seventeen publications plus three more on the way and an additional three under contract.

Do I have anything to say that people will find worthwhile of their listening?

Thank you, everyone who has said, “YES!”

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12 thoughts on “What I’ve learned from three years of blogging

  1. renee200 says:

    Congratulations Ana 😉 Yes, you definitely have something worthwhile to say. It sounds like you have learned and grown during your three years of blogging. You have made friends and been a friend to many. There is nothing more we can ask out of life than the ability to touch others with love and impact their life in a positive way. Although you may not realize it, you do this often with your blog and your books. Thanks for talking to us and sharing your journey. Blessings, R.

    Like

  2. abby says:

    First of all CONGRATS!!! …on all of the achievements listed above. I am one of those who, if not for YOU, would probably never have read a F/F story …….or book. So a personal thank you , for expanding my views, and my reading options. You have enriched this community in so many ways…..hugs abby

    Like

  3. awesomesub says:

    Hi Ana, congratulations on your third blogiversary! Woohoo! You have already come a long way and have created awesome books and events in this time. Wow! I am glad that you write your books the way you want to and not as told by others. I mean, as a reader I do not want to influence much beforehand, because it would spoil the fun of discovering a character.

    I hope this is not too repetitive (some people around even say that my comments are sometimes slightly ‘lengthy’, imagine that!) but one big reason why I enjoy the characters you have born (can I say that? You do sometimes sound mommy-like when talking about all your children, but then again, maybe I see ‘mommy’ everywhere’. Where is Graciela?…) is because they are grown up. Yep, maybe not such a revelation, but I refer to their decisions and facing the consequences of what they do. They either start with this adult mind set or they learn and grow to be adults. I love this endlessly, because even if one of them is submissive, the reason for that has nothing to do with their ability to act independently as adults. Well, and they have learned that being alone for the wrong reasons is no option, that relationships are work and worth it. What else could I possibly ask for?! (uhm coming to think of it, a cup of coffee would be nice when I can stand the taste again 😀 )

    I am still congratulating, by the way, but it may be really a bit longer than ‘congrats, bye’. 🙂 I love powerful women and they are definitely sexy. I have other preferences too (getting closer to TMI here :D), so I also like powerless characters if they have the right attitude, so that they can learn, or them being powerless is a real choice of theirs, or if there is a contest of will behind this, or…

    And I am glad that there are kinky women who love women in your stories. I think the way they connect is described differently in your characters and the connections you create for them are far far far more intense and I can see so much understanding between the women you have created than in most other stories. Awesome.

    Uhm, the short of it: you have a knack of getting into the minds of someone in a wonderful way, thank you for that and here’s for the next 3 years! 🙂

    hugs ❤

    Nina

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    • Anastasia Vitsky says:

      Hehe…you really don’t know how to comment in fewer than three pages, do you? ❤ Love ya.

      I love when stories become community property. I mean that some people begin to get invested in the characters and want to be part of their lives. It's neat to see the evolution, even in my own thinking. I remember how indignant and protective I felt when readers thought Natalie was too harsh. I've learned from that, though, to embrace what I want my characters to be. Well, how I see them. I don't get much say in how they are. 😀

      And yes, I do feel like I have given birth to characters. 😀 Sometime with great pain! Indigo was one. She was SO hard to get to know.

      Hm…Graciela does not think Trinity has grown up, or at least not the way she should. 😀 Then again, that's what spanking is for…and whipping, and flogging, and…*cough* Sorry, what were we talking about? Hehe.

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  4. SH says:

    I have read your blog for a long time, long before I got brave and introduced myself 🙂 I loved it then, still do, love your books and love you too!

    Enough said 🙂

    Like

  5. minellesbreath says:

    It is really about love isn’t it! I think we have to do what we love! It makes our work so much more authentic! Readers can tell when there is true passion!
    I’m glad you decided to write what you enjoy!

    Like

  6. catrouble says:

    Congratulations on your blogiversary and wonderful accomplishments Ana. If it hadn’t been for you, I’m not sure I would ever have read a F/F story…and that would have been such a loss. Your characters are so beautifully written…they just draw you right in. And you have introduced me to some other wonderful authors. Thank you so much for having the courage to put yourself out there and becoming a beloved member of our blogland family.

    BTW…at the end of the day, the only ones you need to listen to are yourself, Evil Mistress Kate and me! 😀

    Hugs and Blessings…
    Cat

    PS…the 756 vs 1308 post discrepancy could be the difference between published posts vs published plus drafts…at least that’s the difference in blogger.

    Like

  7. rozharrison says:

    Congratulations on your 3rd Blogiversary Ana! You have achieved so much in that time 🙂

    You are such a blessing to this community, I’m so glad you are here. You opened my eyes also to F/f. Thank you for that 🙂 I am grateful for you 🙂

    Hugs
    Roz

    Like

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