‘Twas the Night before Spoonmas

With apologies to Henry Livingston, Jr.

‘Twas the night before Spoonmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a louse;

The wood spoons were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that the Spoon Fairy soon would be there;

Miscreants were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of corner-time danced in their heads

And mamma with her big spoon and I with the small

Had just settled down to spank them soundly–all!

When out on the lawn there arose such a loud cry

I sprang from the bench with awful glare in my eye

Away to the window I flew with my spoon

Tore open the shutters and nearly did swoon

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to sweet spoons below

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear

The Spoon Fairy herself, with jewels and gems dear

With a unicorn and crown, majestic and bold

I knew in a moment all sins would be told

More rapid than eagles her spankings they came

As she smacked, and whacked, and called us by name

“Now, KIRA! Now, SONNA! Now, TALIA and VINA!


To the corner and bench! to punishment chair!

Now spank away! spank away! spank away, there!

What do you think happens after the Spoon Fairy arrives? Write your own verse!


11 thoughts on “‘Twas the Night before Spoonmas

  1. kitty ranma says:

    And down the chimney the spoon fairy did come,
    as we were compelled to corners and benches,
    The whacking commenced with a almighty strike,
    Begging and pleading arose with a hawl,
    Promises of better behavior,
    Ignoring the clatter of crying and woe,
    She smacked and swatted with vigor and purpose,
    Cherry bums soon abounded,
    Then cuddles and forgiveness were given as well.
    (Ok so I suck at prose.)


  2. awesomesub says:

    Hi Ana, what a funny version, I liked that a lot and don’t think you should apologize at all. It is embarrassing that I have to ask, but why Livingston? I really didn’t get that one and only found out that he was some sort of explorer.

    I was hungry while writing this, and I think that influenced me here.

    Just like Santa and Nick, she lined them all up,
    Picked up her spoon for a second round.
    Observing their faces, all red and contrite,
    All bottoms well-roasted, she pondered a while.
    Her magic spoon flew through the room,
    One more smack hit them all, a friendly one, though
    No one dared turning around yet, lest Spoon Fairy might strike.
    Instead, the Spoonmas table was set,
    And Spoon Fairy softly spoke ‘come, look’
    There was joy in the Palace, the table looked fabulous,
    Abounding with wooden spoons, and delicious foods, some fancy, some ramen.
    There was plenty of everything
    With just a tiny little bit more for Sonna and Talia.
    Awestruck, they looked at her, tears in their eyes.
    As Spoon Fairy saw these telltale signs, she knew all was good.
    Her jolly ‘Ha’ went through the house
    And she left with grandeur.
    When Spoon Fairy left, I heard her exclaim
    “I’m off to the next house, there’s plenty to spank.
    But for you, Happy Spoonmas, peace, joy and fun.
    And never forget
    If you misbehave, it’ll be your bum.”


  3. Genta Sebastian says:

    Uh oh – so many good ones already. But here’s my contribution:

    The Spoonmas tree fell as the spankings commenced
    Many bottoms were red, all the cheeks fully tensed
    Spoon Fairy was blessing Talia over her knee
    With her best wooden spoon, spanking one, two, then three!

    “Oh please, sweet Fairy,” Talia cried through her tears
    “May I have one more swat on my two burning spheres?”
    “Gladly,” the Spoon Fairy cried, “but here’s my rule!
    “A full dozen swats are my gift at Spoon yule.”

    Talia’s nightgown flew up, and her panties went down
    Spoon Fairy just winked and adjusted her crown
    Then a whack, and a swat, and another ten smacks
    Talia soon paid her debts for twelve months of bad acts.

    The others soon clamored for her clemency
    One by one they each took a turn over her knee
    A dozen hard spanks on their bottoms quite bare
    Taught them all how much Spoon Fairy really does care

    Inspired by my heroine’s heroic deeds
    I drew Momma close and began to proceed
    To draw my sweet woman over my lap
    But my face soon turned red with a well deserved slap

    Momma’s large wooden spoon was applied to my rear
    Until I received a Spoonmas whipping severe
    Dancing, cavorting, leaping around with great cheer
    Miscreants surrounded me, sweet little dears

    “Now go to your beds, and sleep on your tummies
    Tomorrow you’ll find many sweet Spoonmas yummies!”
    Momma high fived Spoon Fairy and they shared a wink
    Pleased that all naughty bottoms were blazing bright pink.


  4. Mary Mccoy says:

    Like blessings on petulant cheeks were applied
    Many smacks of the blessed Spoonmas “wand”
    Until even the hardiest supplicant cried,
    and was comforted, with hugs all around.
    Many pages were colored and ramen was made
    And all the cherry bottoms in bed were then laid. 🙂


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