I thought I’d never laugh again.
I never thought I’d focus, think clearly, or write a sentence again.
I was lucky to manage a coherent answer to, “How are you doing?”
My dad’s still dead, you see. Three months later, I’m one-fourth of the way to the first anniversary. The first year mark is a magical, amazing milestone that means the pain will somehow lessen. (Shh. Let me have my fantasies.)
A month ago, I struggled. Sweated. Procrastinated. Cried. Mewled. Fought. Begged the universe for…what? Something. Anything, anything at all. Whatever it took to get words on the page.
I picked up some drawing pens and cheap children’s drawing paper, and I wrote one word.
It took a full week, but I wrote the first chapter.
Then I struggled to write the next.
And the next.
And the next!
I, who had lost a father who loved me more than any man I’ll ever know, delved into the soul of a girl-woman whose father cursed the day she was born.
I, who treasure memories of my dad bursting with pride at his little girl, wept as I wrote this character’s struggle to find self-worth without her father’s love.
I came to the computer day after day, tentative.
Frustrated I had to do the angsty soul-searching meaning-of-life emotionally intense VitskyTM thing when I wanted light, fluffy fun.
I wanted spankings, darn it!
Instead, I got a story of finding love and life amidst hopelessness.
In writing, I affirmed the value of life no matter what our personal challenges might be.
By the end, I wanted to spread my wings and soar on the power of my words. I powered through the last four chapters in record time, and I wept again at giving my characters the peace they longed for. No, it wasn’t the happily ever ending they wanted, but it was better.
It was real, it was loving, and it made sense.
In creating chaos and then order, I found order in my own life.
I’m so grateful to be a writer.
I’m so grateful writing gives me a reason to live.
And I’m so very grateful I can bring these women back into your life.
Mistress’s Release, book three in the Mistress series, will come out (fingers crossed) Father’s Day weekend.
The story about a girl struggling to live without her father’s love, released on a day to honor fathers.
And little ol’ me, finding how to get through my first fatherless Father’s Day, will hug this book to my chest.
Kiss it, wash behind its ears, and send it out to the world.
Won’t you love my dear Trinity and Gracie? They’re waiting for you.
Eager and shy at the same time, afraid of rejection but longing for connection.
Won’t you read Mistress’s Release?
Please say you will.
(Blurb, cover art, and all those specs coming soon!)