Welcome to day two of the Finding Ms. Write blog tour, and the second day of my personal blogging out “Faux Pas,” my contribution. You can find my earlier post here.
Jove Belle introduced us to Finding Ms. Write yesterday, and now it’s my turn. Welcome, everyone! I’m thrilled to have you here.
So. I write kink. Guess what question I dread most?
“Do you actually do all the kinky things you write about?”
It’s enough to make a naughty author blush! I am, you see, a rather quiet person who likes to spend time thinking. Or playing with babies, or teasing my dearest friends.
I said once at a conference panel, “I’ve made the commitment that my private life will remain private.” The audience nodded respectfully, but I still received the inevitable question whether my fiction is autobiographical.
You see, my characters spank. With wooden spoons, to be precise. With canes and belts and floggers. Oh, my!
They use fancy sex toys, or they use old-fashioned techniques to spice up their sex lives.
It’s all rather much for a shy, unassuming author to cope with, answering how much of the printed page has first happened in her bedroom.
“Faux Pas,” my short story for Finding Ms. Write, is my tongue-in-cheek answer to every reader who wanted to imagine my love life. Gia, an All-American girl, writes best-selling kinky fictional exploits of Lusty Lara and Sex Kitten Kate. (Ahem. Not their real names.) Her sweet-tempered wife, Ally, is rather horrified by the “dirty stories” but fascinated at the same time.
Then Ally sneaks a peek at Gia’s stories.
The next thing Gia knows, Ally demands kinky exploits in the bedroom.
Poor, sweet Gia! She’s done all the research, but she can’t handle the intricacies of floggers, spanking, and foreplay. She and Ally have settled into contented domesticity, and a three-dollar Etsy flogger terrifies her.
Do you remember the first time you had sex? Things didn’t go perfectly, did they? Limbs got in the wrong position, hands and fingers got squished, mouths didn’t meet, and bodily needs interrupted. Poor Gia and Ally have a similar experience when they try kink.
“I can’t get the hook unfastened,” Ally called from the bedroom. She rolled her right arm backward and squeezed her shoulder blades together in an effort to reach the tiny metal fasteners in the back of her undergarment. “Ow!” She’d put so much effort into this surprise, but the stupid clothing threatened to defeat her. Who knew sexy could be this difficult?
In the living room, a rat-tat-tat on their battered desktop computer signaled her wife hard at work. “Three thousand words!” Gia crowed. “I’m going to finish this chapter tonight!”
“I got a new panty and bra at Victoria’s Secret this afternoon.” Ally tried to make her voice seductive as she stroked the satin cups, pulled her hair to one side, and propped a bare heel on the edge of their mattress. She’d bathed and dabbed her favorite green-tea perfume behind each ear. Having a wife work from home had sounded great until Ally realized her wife never left work. Not even for a fifty-percent-off lingerie set Gia had admired for weeks. She’d complained about Ally’s worn-out bras but couldn’t be bothered to see the replacements.
“Shh…” Random profanities echoed through the still, unfriendly house. “No! You can’t do this to me! The wheel of death! I didn’t save my last chapter! Let me smash you against the wall and whack your brains out.”
“Rather inelegantly expressed.” Ally sashayed to the doorway, wondering whether she should abandon her plans for the night. Nothing attracted Gia’s attention during NaNoWriMo. “I wanted impact play, but if you prefer to take me…”
“What?” Dark shadows under Gia’s eyes made her look like a confused panda. “If I don’t get this chapter back to my editor by tomorrow morning…oh. Oh, my.” She leaned back in her chair, eyes widening at Ally with her red-satin glory.
“That’s what we’ve come to? Oh, my?” Ally straddled the chair and bent over to wiggle her bottom in Gia’s face.
“What, are you going to twerk?” Gia laughed and patted the tiny bit of fabric.
“Read, Ms. Writer,” Ally ordered.
Finding Ms. Write
Twelve authors of lesbian fiction bring you a collection of romantic short stories about “book people”—heroines who are somehow involved in the publishing industry.
From a novelist with the world’s biggest crush on her editor to a beta reader connecting with her cabinmate on a cruise, from a woman seeking rare books who finds love instead to a bookstore owner who’s drawn to the shy writer sitting by the shop’s window every day, this anthology is full of stories guaranteed to have a happy ending.
Step into our world of books and enjoy a glimpse into the lives of writers who are chasing deadlines…and finding love.
Win a copy of Finding Ms. Write! To enter, leave a comment on any blog on the tour, and we will draw the five winners on the last day of the tour.
The Blog Tour Schedule
- June 15 – Jove Belle
- June 16 – Anastasia Vitsky
- June 17 – A.L. Brooks (blogging at Jae’s site)
- June 18 – Elaine Burnes
- June 19 – Lea Daley (blogging at Jove’s site)
- June 20 – Melissa Grace
- June 21 – Hazel Yeats (blogging at Jae’s site)
- June 22 – Kathy Brodland (blogging at Jove’s site)
- June 23 – Cori Kane
- June 24 – Chris Zett
- June 25 – Jae