#FallinLove with Fairytales, Day One!

BF word search tour banner

Welcome to the Fall in Love with Fairytales blog tour!

If you would like to win an enormous grand prize consisting of a Kindle, gift certificates, and author swag, visit each day’s post(s) and follow Rafflecopter instructions for prize entries. For more information, please visit:

How do you like your fairy tales? I enjoy mine slightly scrambled.

I was first introduced to re-envisioning fairy tales with Politically Correct Bedtime Tales and The True Story of the Three Little Pigs. At first, I wasn’t sure how to take the books. The first one was clearly satire, but was it mean-spirited? Three Little Pigs felt like (to be melodramatic) an attempted murderer making excuses. I admired the wit and humor, but it felt wrong.

Later, Wicked became an international sensation. I never saw the musical, except for clips I could find on Youtube, but I read the book. While I could have done without the bestiality, I was captivated by an adolescent Elphaba struggling to gain acceptance despite her green skin and inability to bathe.

And when Once Upon a Time appeared, I was amazed at a grown-up television show focusing on fairy tales. All of my old favorites appeared in a new form. While I didn’t agree with some of the portrayals, they gave new life to fairy tales many adults considered childish.

However, my dearest wish has not yet materialized: a retelling of Rapunzel’s story from Mother Gothel’s point of view. I love Tangled and couldn’t wait to write Mother Gothel taming Rapunzel with the famous hairbrush. I was disappointed to receive “Our Lady’s Child” instead, but I found immense pleasure in re-writing the Virgin Mary as a queen kinkster. (I assume I’ll have a nice, toasty afterlife.) When I received The Snow Queen for my second fairy tale, I couldn’t wait to incorporate elements of Frozen with the original story. Isn’t everything better with flying icicle magic?

AV_BeyondFairytales_Taliasman_1300

Taliasman, my first Beyond Fairytale, is the story of a downtrodden girl who has been taught she has no value. Her constant refrain is, “If I had been born a boy.” Its sequel, Taliaschild, will debut with a sneak peek at Sci Spanks June 12-14. You’ll find quite a few Beyond Fairytales authors joining the Sci Spanks fun, so please come and join us!

In the next two weeks, you will find posts from the authors behind the Beyond Fairytales series. We have spaceships, cowboys, owls, princesses, princes, and geese. If you like M/F, M/M, F/F, or ménage, you’ll find at least one of each. Each one is unique and indescribably naughty.

If you’ve gobbled up all of the collections already, be sure to check out the Beyond Fairytales blog for new releases and additional books.

Tomorrow, please look for posts from V.s. Morgan and Melissa Shirley.

For your convenience, here is a handy-dandy worksheet with daily schedule, blog stops, and space to keep track of surprise words.

Or you can use this plain text version if it is better for you.

audio Taliasman headphones

Best of all, Taliasman is now available as an audiobook on Audible and Amazon! It will be on iTunes very soon.

Here is the surprise word for today:

Ana button May 23

(I’m assuming there are amazing spanking androids on these spaceships. Jessica Subject promises me this is so. She will share her androids but not her aliens.)

To earn entries toward a FABULOUS grand prize, follow this link to use Rafflecopter.

DP_RedBookofGrownupFairytales_BoxedFinal

Red Book of Grown-Up Fairytales

DP_BlueBookofGrownupFairytales_BoxedSet_HiRes-1

Blue Book of Grown-Up Fairytales

DP_GreenBookofGrownupFairytales_BoxedSet_HiRes (2)

Green Book of Grown-Up Fairytales

 DP_GoldBookofGrownupFairytales_BoxedSet_HiRes (2)

Gold Book of Grown-Up Fairytales (Recommended Read on ARe!)

11241294_1494571080832878_823189302_o

Lift High the (Chocolate) Cross (and eat it)

wpid-wp-1426267308953.jpeg

Sacrilege.

Yum.

Ever since Louisa Bacio received a chocolate cross last Easter and worried how to handle the sacrilege, I have found great delight both in the silly item and Louisa’s reaction. To me, a piece of chocolate (no matter what the shape) is something yummy. Louisa, however, couldn’t bring herself to eat it. She outlined her dilemma in her “Taste Us! You’ll Like Us!” post:

  • Melt it – Oh my, that’s just wrong. As a base for most recipes, chocolate is melted.

  • Suck it – Rather than biting, you know how some people prefer to suck? The shape may be perfect, but the idea is not.

  • Dip it in marshmallow – Such a nice contrast of chocolate and cream, but mental picture = oh no!

  • Play with it – I’d rather not say anything else on the subject, but it is a bit phallic. [Ana’s note: This is the benefit of living in a F/F world!]

  • Eat it – In any sense of the word.

Now, really. Jesus did say to take and eat.

In preparation for my birthday festivities, Louisa sent me a message.

“You’ll know it’s from me when you see it.”

I figured it would be the Italian children and wooden spoon T-shirt she posted and tagged me in, and I wondered whether she would get the size right.

When I received a package from Amazon, I was curious. I had quite a few packages arriving with goody bag supplies, but I didn’t have anything scheduled to arrive that day. I’d received some clearly marked birthday presents and set them under the birthday tree. This, however, must have been (in my thoughts) an extra box of candy or toys for the party favor bags.

I opened the box, opened the box inside of the box, and howled with laughter once I saw the contents.

wpid-wp-1426267481356.jpeg

 

Two of them. That’s right, two. Because eating one chocolate cross is not enough to commit sacrilege. Oh, and how naughty is it to eat a Happy Easter cross while in the middle of Lent?

wpid-wp-1426267464136.jpeg

What cracked me up was the combination of pretty swirls on the front of the cross and the cheap plastic tray. Shouldn’t chocolate crosses be served on crushed velvet? With wax paper, maybe, to protect the velvet.

With great joy and satisfaction, I took up the cross.

Matthew 16:24

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.”

See? It’s in the Bible. Jesus didn’t say, “Don’t eat the cross after you’ve taken it up.”

Some people receive birthday cakes. (I’m not much of a cake lover.) Some might receive birthday pie or cookies. Me? I get a birthday chocolate cross.

Screen Shot 2015-03-15 at 4.27.30 AM

Louisa couldn’t believe I’d actually taken a bite. She gave her own chocolate cross to her husband last year. He took care of it.

I made sure to document the desecration step by step.

wpid-wp-1426267292838.jpeg

Yum. As the wonderful hymn says:

Lift high the cross, the love of Christ proclaim,
Till all the world adore His sacred Name.

I don’t know about you, but chocolate is a pretty good conversion tool. Don’t you think? I bet we could get a lot of followers if we handed out chocolate crosses.

Who’s in? 😀

Taste Us! You’ll Like Us! Meet Louisa Bacio for #LoveSpanks! (Yummy sacrilege)

Spanks-Lovespanks-Amazon-2015

Register for Love Spanks 2015 here!

What Not to Do with Your Chocolate Cross …

By Louisa Bacio

It’s bad enough when Easter rolls around, and children across the world eat the heads off sweet bunnies. Or Christmas and Santa gets decapitated. The husband has a tendency to buy gifts that are a little bit, let’s say non-traditional.

A few years ago, I opened a chocolate cross. What was I supposed to do with it? It seems a bit blasphemous to eat it. Right?

[Ana’s note: It’s chocolate! Eat it! Jesus said to take and eat, right? 😉 ]

So rather than putting together a recipe of what to do, Ana suggested what not to do!

[Ana’s note: For reference, Louisa mentioned her chocolate cross dilemma LAST Easter. I loved it so much that I’ve posted about it on the blog once and still refer to it. I’m sure Chickie empathizes.]

  • Melt it – Oh my, that’s just wrong. As a base for most recipes, chocolate is melted.
  • Suck it – Rather than biting, you know how some people prefer to suck? The shape may be perfect, but the idea is not.
  • Dip it in marshmallow – Such a nice contrast of chocolate and cream, but mental picture = oh no!
  • Play with it – I’d rather not say anything else on the subject, but it is a bit phallic.
    [Ana’s note: This is the benefit of living in a F/F world!]
  • Eat it – In any sense of the word.

And on that final note … I’m not sure if it’s worse but they also sell a chocolate Jesus fish. Hey, wanna bake it?

Make sure to read my contribution for #LoveSpanks, “Sweet Sherrie.”

There’s nothing quite as sweet as two friends, tussling between the sheets. The “shy one” Sherrie wants to explore a physical relationship, but not before teaching her sorority sister bestie Desiree a few lessons on teasing.

Any ideas what not to do with a religious artifact turned into a sweet confection?

Register for Love Spanks 2015 here!

#SciSpanks Winners!

Sci-Spanks-Banner-1-SM-2

 

 

READER PRIZES!

Kindle Fire or Nook HD (winner’s choice): WINNER: NURSE MYRA

(donated by Blushing Books)

  • $25 gift certificate to Amazon and an autographed copy of Alien Warriors
    *Available to US and Canada only
    (donated by Sue Lyndon)
    WINNER: HEATHER HAND
  • $20 gift certificate to Amazon
    (donated by Witty Bard Publishing)
    WINNER: RENEE M
  • $20 gift certificate to ThinkGeek
    (donated by Naughty Bard Press)
    WINNER: SH
  • $10 gift certificate to Amazon
    (donated by Lipstick Lesbian Reviews)
    WINNER: CORINNE
  • Alien tote bag, autographed book, and assorted swag
    (
    donated by Eve Langlais)
    WINNER: KELLY BEAR
  • Custom-written short story
    (donated by Erzabet Bishop)
    WINNER: LAUREL LASKY
  • VIP membership to Loose Id
    WINNER: MANDY PEDERICK
  • One-year membership to Silkwords (two winners)
    WINNER 1: KYRA TINKER
    WINNER 2: CAROLE EVANS

AUTHOR PRIZES!

SPANKING PRIZES!

  • 6-month online couple membership to Learning Domestic Discipline
    WINNER: MARYBETH
  • 6-month membership to Discipline and Desire
    WINNER: EVA
  • Custom-made wooden paddle* from Blondie’s Place
    *Available to US and Canada only
    WINNER: STEPHANIE FREDRICK
  • Spanking paddle* from Kate Richards
    *Available to US and Canada only, gift certificate substitution for international players
    WINNER: JENNIFER
  • Goody bags from BDSM Bookreviews (five winners)
    WINNERS: JANY, AMBER COLE, ASHLEY HOLLEMAN, LAURA, AND JOYCE

MORE READER PRIZES!

 

Book Bundles from:

If you are a winner, you have 48 hours to accept your prize. If you do not respond within 48 hours (8 AM EDT Friday), your prize will go to someone else. If for any reason you wish to decline your prize, please let me know in the comments. Thanks!

Individual prizes for my own blog will follow.

Sci Spanks 2014 Authors and Ambassadors

Sci-Spanks-Banner-1-SM-2

PARTICIPATING AUTHORS

These blogs are offering free Sci Spanks stories, prizes, and more! Comments on these blogs earn you entries in the grand prize drawings as well as individual contests. You will earn one prize entry per comment per blog, and commenting on all seventeen blogs will earn you five bonus prize entries.

Be sure to sign up for our exclusive chat with Sci Spanks authors! Message Ana or Anne for an invitation.

 

 

 

SCI SPANKS AMBASSADORS

These blogs sponsor Sci Spanks. Many have donated prizes, some are also authors, and all are a fabulous part of this event. Be sure to check out their sites!

Amanda L Pederick

Ameliah Faith

Anna Jones

Annie Slasher

Asnee Llygedyn

Cat Hopkins

Dame Margo

Dana Danis

Hermione Martingale

Joelle Casteel

Jolynn Raymond

Kristin Elyon

Leigh Smith

Megan Michaels

Minelle Labraun

Missy Jones

Paloma Beck

Regan Nicole

Ronnie Soul

Skeeter Lee

Meet #SciSpanks authors Erzabet Bishop, Louisa Bacio, Anne Ferrer Odom, and Sue Lyndon!

Hi. I’m Erzabet Bishop and I write urban fantasy blended with erotic romance. Sigil fire is an urban fantasy lesbian fiction tale. My Sci Spanks story is an excerpt from Blood Red Moon. Let me take you to a place where magic, myth and mayhem abound with an erotic edge to keep you coming back for more. The full novella will be out in the early fall. Yes, there will be spanking…

What would my superpower be?

If I could have any superpower, I would want to be a blood witch/vampire like Fae in Sigil Fire. She can take on anything and kick butt doing it-and still have time to fall in love with a woman who needs her to break a curse that has followed her for a millennia.

I would also love to simultaneously clean my house while writing. That would be the best trick ever. Oh…and add sleeping in there too. Must multitask.

Bio

Erzabet Bishop has been crafting stories since she could pound keys on her parents’ old typewriter. She has only just learned that it is a whole lot more fun writing naughty books. She is a contributing author to the Silk Words website with her Fetish Fair choose your own romantic adventure stories, Elemental Passions (upcoming), Forbidden Fruit, Potnia, A Christmas To Remember, Taboo II, Club Rook: The Series, Sweat, Bossy, When the Clock Strikes Thirteen, Unbound Box, Milk & Cookies & Handcuffs, Holidays in Hell, Corset Magazine: Sex Around the World Issue and Man vs. Machine: The Sex Toy Issue, Smut by the Sea Volume 2, Hell Whore Volume 2, Can’t Get Enough (upcoming, Cleis), Slave Girls, The Big Book of Submission (upcoming Cleis), Hungry for More (upcoming Cleis), Gratis II, Anything She Wants, Dirty Little Numbers, Kink-E magazine, Eternal Haunted Summer, Coming Together: Girl on Girl, Shifters and Coming Together: Hungry for Love among others. She is the author of Lipstick (upcoming), Dinner Date, Tethered, Blood Red Moon (upcoming), Sigil Fire, The Erotic Pagans Series: Beltane Fires, Samhain Shadows and Yuletide Temptation. She lives in Texas with her husband, furry children and can often be found lurking in local bookstores. She loves to bake, make naughty crochet projects and watch monster movies. When she isn’t writing, she loves to review music and books.

Follow her reviews and posts on Twitter @erzabetbishop.

Links:

Facebook “like” page: https://www.facebook.com/erzabetbishopauthor

Amazon author page: http:// amazon.com/author/erzabetbishop/

Author site: http://erzabetwrites.wix.com/erzabetbishop

 

LOUISA BACIO

 

Ciao! I’m Louisa Bacio, and I write erotic paranormal romance. Truly, I believe in Love Knows No Bounds. The characters dictate the stories I write, and the love interests, whether they be M/M or F/F or M/F … or a fun ménage combination.

 

For Sci Spanks, I’m featuring “Double Trouble,” a peek at a F/F roller derby tale with a paranormal twist.

 

 

1)   In the world you created, what do wish, if anything, could be real, or what are you relieved is only fiction?

 

Oh, everything should absolutely be real, and when you read it, hopefully, you’ll think so, too!

 

2)   What challenges and/or pleasures have you experienced in writing and appreciating paranormal?

 

We only know so much about the world around us. What about what we don’t know, or what lays beyond our physical realm. Paranormal and sci fi allows me as a writer to stretch the imagination. Or, perhaps, write about an altered form of reality.

 

3)   If you could have a superpower, what would it be and why?

 

I’d love to have the power to heal. Just think about it – you could save so many people, and potentially live forever, too. It all depends upon the concept of “healing.”

 

 

Bio

 

A Southern California native, Louisa Bacio can’t imagine living far away from the ocean. The multi-published author of erotic romance enjoys writing within all realms – from short stories to full-length novels.

 

Bacio shares her household with a supportive husband, two daughters growing “too fast,” and a multitude pet craziness: Three dogs, five fish tanks, an aviary, hamsters, rabbits, hermit crabs and guinea pigs. In her other life, she teaches college classes in English, journalism and popular culture.

 

Blog http://louisabacio.blogspot.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/louisabacio

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/louisabacio

 

ANNE FERRER ODOM

A student of philosophy, linguistics, and computer science, Anne spends long evenings debating the ethics of human-tech biological integration with her remarkably sentient household appliances in their native tongues. In real life, she is a new author, completing her first novel with co-author Rose Hunt. Together, Anne and Rose write “steamy” steampunk adventure. Get a taste at www.gaslightfantasy.com.

 

On her own, Anne indulges in flash fiction of any genre at www.flashinganne.com. Sci Spanks is the first time Anne’s throwing a little spank into her fiction. Yum.

 

Got Twitter? Give a follow: @AFOdom

 

QUESTION AND ANSWER

Choose one or more of the following questions to answer:

 

1)   In the world you created, what do wish, if anything, could be real, or what are you relieved is only fiction?

  1. I really want to be a werewolf. The kind that must eat 100 pancakes to keep up her metabolism and doesn’t think twice about walking around naked in front of anyone.

2)   What challenges and/or pleasures have you experienced in writing and appreciating sci fi (or your term)? Examples might be writing as a woman, getting to have more freedom than writing a “realistic” story, etc.

  1. My pre-teen kids really want to read my stuff, but they aren’t old enough yet, what with the sex and things that go bump in the night. They’ll probably be really sorry when they get old enough (“Please tell me you haven’t actually *done* any of this, Mom.”)

3)   If you could have a superpower, what would it be and why?

  1. Teleportation. I want to go everywhere. And I want to go NOW.

 

SUE LYNDON

Hi, my name is Sue Lyndon and I write erotic spanking romances in many different genres, including science fiction. So far my science fiction stories (Surrender and Commander’s Slave) have involved hunky, dominant aliens who aren’t afraid to take their human ladyloves over their knees. I like the freedom writing science fiction provides to create a cultural background for the alien hero that differs greatly from the human heroine’s, which of course leads to more tension and conflict between the main characters. For example, in my Sci Spanks story, No More Lizards, the heroine is vexed that her new alien husband never smiles and she thinks if she plays enough pranks on him, he’ll eventually come around and develop a sense of humor. You’ll have to read the story to find out how well that works out for her though! J

 

 

In the world you created, what do wish, if anything, could be real, or what are you relieved is only fiction?

In No More Lizards, my main characters are living on a perfectly habitable alien planet. I guess I wish THAT possibility were real. How cool would it be to locate and travel to another Earthlike planet? And live there! Seriously, I’d sign up for that adventure.

 

Bio

 

Sue Lyndon is a multi-published author of erotic BDSM romance and spanking romances. She enjoys a good book in any genre, loves Star Trek and Battlestar Galactica, and runs on coffee and chocolate.

 

www.suelyndon.com

www.facebook.com/AuthorSueLyndon

www.twitter.com/SueLyndon

 

AUTHOR CHATS!

Most of the Sci Spanks authors will be available for an exclusive chat on Facebook. Here is the tentative (subject to change!) schedule for the author chats. More times may be added. Message Ana or Anne on Facebook for an invitation.

All times are in EDT. EDT stands for Eastern Daylight (Saving) Time, aka New York time. It’s also known as UTC-4. (The easiest way to keep track of EDT is to google “New York time now.”)

Wednesday 6/25:
Maren Smith (12-2PM)
Kate Richards (9 PM)
Carole Cummings (10 PM)
Cathy Pegau (11PM)

Thursday 6/26:
Eve Langlais (9 PM)
Anastasia Vitsky (10 PM)
Leigh Ellwood (11 PM)

Friday 6/27:
Jessica E Subject (10 AM to noon)
Kathryn R. Blake (5 PM)
Eva Lefoy (9 PM)

Saturday 6/28:
Erzabet Bishop (Time TBD)

Sunday 6/29
Anne Ferrer Odom (10 AM)
Olivia Starke (6 PM)

 

Sci-Spanks-Banner-1-SM-2

Announcing #SciSpanks 2014!

Sci-Spanks-Banner-1-SM-2

 

SCI SPANKS 2014 IS NOW LIVE! CLICK HERE (BIT.LY/SCISP14) FOR ALL OF THE LINKS! BE SURE TO VISIT ALL 17 BLOGS!

Would you like free stories, fun, and a chance at over $1,000 in prizes? This summer, you can participate in a short story extravaganza! Award-winning authors of dystopian, paranormal, urban fantasy, speculative, and science fiction will showcase stories for your enjoyment. Chat with your favorite authors, meet new-to-you authors, find great new books, and meet new friends!

Sci Spanks Featured Authors

Anastasia Vitsky

Anne Ferrer Odom

Carole Cummings

Cathy Pegau

Erzabet Bishop

Eve Langlais

Eva Lefoy

Jessica E. Subject

Kate Richards

Kathryn R. Blake

Leigh Ellwood

Louisa Bacio

Maren Smith

Natasha Knight

Olivia Starke

Sue Lyndon

Introducing guest blogger Ami Starsong!

 

Want to become a Sci Spanks ambassador and earn an extra prize entry? See below!

Even better, participation could earn you a GRAND PRIZE!

READER PRIZES!

Kindle Fire or Nook HD (winner’s choice)

(donated by Blushing Books)

AUTHOR PRIZES!

SPANKING PRIZES!

MORE READER PRIZES!

 

Book Bundles from:

Many authors also will offer a contest on their individual blogs.  Your comment on their blogs automatically enters you in both the main contest and the individual contests!

What’s the catch?  Absolutely nothing!  We love writing for you and want to thank you for your readership.  Perhaps someone might get a spanking or two, but that’s a reward rather than a catch, right?  😉

Here are the rules:

  1. Visit each blog between Wednesday, June 25 and Sunday, June 29 to read the posted stories and excerpts.
  2. Leave a comment answering the story question on each blog.  You will receive one entry per blog for the grand prize drawing.  You will also be automatically entered in that author’s individual contest, if she has one.
  3. If you have visited all of the blogs, visit Ana’s blog to sign up for FIVE bonus entries to the grand prize.
  4. Deadline is midnight EDT (UTC -4) on June 29!!
  5. If you successfully completed a previous challenge (Love Spanks 2014, Spank or Treat 2013, Spankee Doodle 2013, Love Spanks 2013, or Spank or Treat 2012), you may add “VIP” to your comments.  You will earn THREE bonus entries toward the grand prize.  (Yes, we will be doing this again.  Yes, if you successfully complete the Love Spanks 2014 challenge you can become a VIP for our next activity!)
  6. If you are an published writer/author, please add “W” to your comments. That way, your name will be entered in the special author prize drawings.
  7. Visit any of the participating blogs on Wednesday, July 2nd to find out the lucky winners.  Will it be you?

NEW THIS YEAR! Visit us on Facebook (www.facebook.com/scispanks) between June 25th and 29th to receive an invitation to an exclusive Sci Spanks party! Chat with your favorite authors, earn extra prize entries, and give feedback about the stories!

Like these events? Want to support your friendly sci-fi authors? Become a Sci Spanks 2014 Ambassador! In exchange for promoting this event, you will receive one extra prize entry, AND you are still eligible to participate and win prizes!

To sign up, contact Ambassador Liaison Kathryn Blake at krb_spanks@kathrynrblake.com, with the subject line “Sci Spanks Ambassador.”

For more information, updates, and a list of participating authors, please visit:

https://governingana.wordpress.com

Like us on Facebook!

Twitter hashtag: #SciSpanks

 

The Grocery Store Debacle: Trying to keep my sanity in a fast-paced life

Have you ever felt discombobulated by the multiple competing demands for your attention? Have you tried to keep things straight, only to end up a confused mess? We know Our Lady of 15 Font Colors, Minelle, has shown up at work with her clothes inside out. (Wow, I didn’t know P was that good!) We scramble, trying to get it together, only to sheepishly admit to our shenanigans.

Every Sunday in the late morning or early afternoon, I go to the grocery store. The food is fresh, the crowds minimal, and I can plan the week’s menu in peace. Sometimes I watch the cooking demonstrations, and occasionally I ask for help. Where’s the curry paste? What is the price on this bag of green beans? Do you have any sugar snap peas? The local grocery store is staffed by friendly, courteous professionals who make my visit enjoyable.

Today, I loitered by the Easter/Passover clearance table. There was a sad, one-eyed chocolate Easter bunny at least a foot tall. I like chocolate, but ew. (At least it wasn’t a chocolate cross, eh Louisa Bacio?) Cadbury eggs, so horrifyingly over-sweet and yet filled with nostalgia for a childhood hoarding the precious chocolate. Chocolate covered marshmallow eggs. Yum. I’m a sucker for marshmallow and chocolate together, and everything was half price or less. There was a big selection of “Kosher for Passover” Matzo boxes. At only a dollar a box, I was curious enough to try some. Sure, what can taste good about flour and water, but it’s Matzo! I gave an apology to my Jewish friends as I considered spreading some Matzo with peanut butter for a snack. That’s not sacrilegious, right? (Louisa knows about sacrilege!) It’s okay if a non-Jew eats Matzo, isn’t it? I promise not to eat it with bacon. 😉

By the time I got home and unloaded bags of food into my refrigerator and cupboards, I had a funny feeling something was wrong. I knew I’d bought a can of orange juice concentrate, but it wasn’t in my freezer. I searched high and low, in all of the bags, and went back to my car. Nope. Another search. Nope.

Puzzled, I phoned the grocery store. “This sounds really stupid,” I apologized. “But have you found a shopping cart with groceries still in it?” Maybe I had left some of the food in the cart. I couldn’t remember putting the cart back into its stall. Had I driven off with some bags still in the cart? Did the bagger forget to put some of the groceries in my cart?

“I’ll look,” the manager promised. “Who’s the cashier listed on your receipt, and what was the time? What were you wearing?” He took my name and phone number and promised to investigate.

Just a few minutes later, the phone rang. The manager confirmed the color of my hair, and he said, “I was at the desk! I saw you put the cart away empty, and the cashier says she gave you all the groceries.”

I went to my kitchen counter to look through the empty bags again. “This is so weird,” I said, perplexed. “I mean, one can of orange juice might have fallen out of my bag or rolled underneath my car, but I’m missing a lot more than that. Cough syrup, apples, a box of Matzo, vegetables. I don’t understand.”

The manager listened patiently. “Come back, and grab another of what you need.”

I stammered, “Are you sure? But if I bought them, and I lost them…”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “We’ll take care of you.”

I hung up the phone after thanking him profusely. I reached for my car keys…to find an ignored bag of groceries sitting next to my front door.

Apples.

Yep.

Cough syrup.

Yep.

Matzo.

Yep.

Corn.

Yep.

Oh, crap.

I blushed and considered not calling the manager back. How would I ever explain a second phone call describing even more stupidity than the first? At last, I decided I had to ‘fess up since I do go to the store every week. Better to let the manager know I’m an idiot over the phone, when he can’t see my face, than in person the next time I shop.

“Hi, I just called you about the groceries missing…”

“Yes, what can I do for you?”

“Uh…I’m really sorry, but I just found them. Sorry to bother you.”

The manager was lovely enough to thank me for calling back, but I’ve been embarrassed ever since.

So…that’s my Sunday afternoon. How’s yours?

Taste Us! You’ll Like Us! Meet Louisa Bacio and Scarlet Chastain! #lovespanks 2014

LoveSpanks2014banner-1

Love Spanks 2014 is coming soon! Are you ready? This year, we have a lineup of F/F authors, either established or considering F/F. You’ll see some new and familiar faces. Because F/F and F/F authors are new to many of our participants, we’re hosting a “Taste Us! You’ll Like Us!” series of introductions and favorite recipes. Last week, we met Kate Richards and her wonderful recipe for rib roast.

Tomorrow, for Tuesdays with Ana we’ll continue our book review discussion and focus on reviewing F/F fiction. Even if you are a reader who has never written a book review before, you’ll learn how to write a review and support your favorite authors.

Join us today to meet Louisa and Scarlet, two authors of F/F fiction who will appear for Love Spanks 2014. Are you ready? 😀

Meet Louisa Bacio!

Welcome! Please tell us a little about yourself.

My stories truly dictate the love interest. I don’t start out thinking I’m going to write a F/F story, but sometimes that’s where the story takes me. In my alternate life, I’m married, have two wonderful, growing-too-fast daughters, and I teach college English and journalism.

How did you come to be part of Love Spanks?

Ana tapped me to be part of the lovefest. Since I’ve looked with envy at some of the previous events, I was more than thrilled to participate.

How long have you written F/F, or when did you first consider writing it?

My first F/F story published in 2010. I started reading short fiction in the genre via Black Lace anthologies (http://www.blacklace.co.uk). (And, now they bought the rights to the first anthology I was in, I Kissed a Girl!)

What are some F/F titles you have written? If you haven’t published or written F/F yet, what are you planning to write?

Sex University: All Girls’ Academy – a full-length F/F novel

“The Drummer Princess” in Fetish Fairy Tales Anthology

What are some of your favorite F/F books and authors?

KT Grant and Virginia Nelson. I also tend to read more short stories and collected anthologies.

What would you like to say to readers who are trying F/F for the first time?

Go in with an open mind. It’s a love story, and love is universal.

What is your favorite recipe?

I’m all about the pretty, themed drink. When I go into a new restaurant/bar, I’ll check out their house specialties. Thanks for Cosmo for putting together a list of Valentine’s cocktails. For a Strawberry Kiss, mix Absolut vanilla, strawberry liqueur, a “splash” of pineapple/cranberry juice and top it with champagne. Who can go wrong with champagne?

http://louisabacio.blogspot.com

http://www.Facebook.com/LouisaBacio

http://www.Twitter.com/LouisaBacio

————————————

Meet Scarlet Chastain!

Welcome! Please tell us a little about yourself.

Hey there! Scar here and I’m thrilled to be part of Love Spanks this year!

How did you come to be part of Love Spanks?

Ana waved her paddle in my direction. How could I refuse?

How long have you written F/F, or when did you first consider writing it?

I’ve been writing F/F on the down low for years and my debut, Bella Key, released last
summer. It’s a sexy contemporary erotic romance set in the Florida Keys.

What are some F/F titles you have written? If you haven’t published or written F/F yet, what are you planning to write?

I followed Bella Key with Little Black Dress, a romantic erotic F/F set in Paris.

What are some of your favorite F/F books and authors?

There are so many wonderful F/F authors out there I’d leave someone out if I tried to list
them all here.

What would you like to say to readers who are trying F/F for the first time?

What is your favorite recipe?

My family will tell you my favorite sayings are “Eat it and be happy.” And “It’s good like
that.” So I guess you can say I’m not a wonderful cook. I can grill a mean
chicken breast though.

Scarlet Chastain
is the semi-secret pseudonym of a multi-published, best selling author of
sensual erotic romance. Scarlet’s focus is female-centric sizzling stories
written about women, for women.

She lives in the suburban shadows of New York City but her heart belongs to the beaches of Key
West. Scarlet can usually be found in her favorite chair of her newly acquired
writing cave.

If you ask her nicely, she will usually tell you her other pen name. She’s sweet that way.

Scarletchastain.com

Twitter:
@scarletchastain

LoveSpanks2014