Ana’s Advent Calendar Day 5: 3rd Annual Blue Christmas

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Saranna has been a friend since I first began publishing. She’s helped me with sex scenes (er, writing them and not performing them…), lent an ear, and been a good friend in more ways than one. When her mother died earlier this year, I watched Saranna come to terms with this loss in her usual amazingly strong way. Saranna is someone I respect and love, and I asked her to share her story with you.

Our dear friend Bas said two years ago, a few months before he died, that Christmas is joy and grief at the same time. Remembering those we’ve lost and making room for new loved ones. You can see Bas’ comment on the first Blue Christmas here. I also talked about Bas for Advent Calendar last year here. This year, I remember my dear quilting granny friend who died in September, and I worry about another friend whose health has taken a drastic turn. Heather Fortman, who ordinarily would be one of our rowdiest players, is grieving the unexpected death of her mother on Wednesday.

Life is not fair. But in the midst of the unfairness, I hope we can find community in our loss and love.

Saranna will respond to comments today. Please do respond to her post, but also name someone (or more than one) who is in your heart today. Hugs and love from Ana.

And now, for Saranna–

First Christmases

 

I had a lot I wanted to say when I started writing this post and a lot of it was hard and maybe just a little bit ugly. Not ugly like it was cruel, but ugly like the cry face that some people have that’s just so visceral it hurts to look at them. But I decided I don’t need that. I’ve got enough of it and that’s not what I want to spread around. It’s not what she would want me to spread around.

As I’m writing this, it’s my mom’s birthday. She would’ve been 73. This is my first Christmas without her. It’s my first of many things without her. It’s hard not to focus on the challenges of our relationship, because some of those are regrets. But regret is fairly useless emotion unless you learn from it.

She used to tell me I’d have regrets when she was gone, and I do, but not the same ones she thought I’d have. Even though I’ll give her that one. I learned in the last few years that it didn’t kill me to tell her she was right.

But I am who I am because of her.

I’ve never known a more stubborn woman in all of my life. Locking horns with her growing up, it was like a young ram hardening his skull. And it is that hard. I’ll lock horns with anyone, if I think it’s warranted. Correction: Not just anyone, but anything too. Even a brick wall. Eventually one of us has to fall down and it’s not going to be me. That’s served me well all through my many different career paths. You’d have thought that it would’ve served me best when I was a corrections officer, but you know what was harder than that? Being a writer.

She gave me my love of books and writing, too.

When my parents took me home the first time, I was a little over a year old. My adoption wasn’t final until my second birthday.

My first year of life was pretty much an Easy Bake recipe for How To Make A Sociopath. I was neglected both physically and emotionally. I wasn’t held, I was malnourished, and I had motor delays. I couldn’t even sit up for very long by myself when child services took custody. I have their original notes. The case worker thought I was retarded. Her words, not mine.

My mother read to me all the time, held me all the time, quit her job to stay home and work with me because I had an attachment disorder.

I’ve worked through my attachment disorder, I’m a mostly functional, empathetic, intelligent human being with a MENSA IQ. I’m a successful writer. I’m a successful mother.

And I can sit up on my own for however long I want to.

Christmas was her favorite holiday, at least it was until she lost all of her family. Then, not so much. Then it was more about melancholy and memories of years past.

But this year, when I first started missing her, I started getting out the Christmas decorations. Because she loved them. Because they made me feel close to her. Someone said that for every Christmas decoration out before Thanksgiving, a baby reindeer dies. Well, let’s just say at my house, reindeer might be an endangered species.

And I don’t care. Decorating for Christmas and feeling the Christmas spirit in my bones and in my heart isn’t about what other people think about it. It’s about me. It’s about her. It’s about the memories that bind us together, the rituals that commit these times past to the forever pages in our minds. It’s about getting a few more minutes to spend with my mother.

Not the woman who was there in her skin when she got sick, paranoid and delusional, but the one I know was there underneath trying to get out. The one who saw that little girl who needed her, held her in her arms and said, “yeah, we want this one.”

I’m determined this is going to be a good Christmas for my girls. We’re about to go shopping for our tree. They wanted to do it today because it’s my mom’s birthday. It’s going to be a new tradition that today is the day we buy the tree, today is the day that we remember, and today is the day we keep her with us always.

Thanks so much for reading and sharing this day with me. I hope the Christmas season brings you whatever you need most this year.

Xoxo

Saranna DeWylde

 

Saranna DeWylde has always been fascinated by things better left in the dark. She wrote her first story after watching The Exorcist at a slumber party. Since then, she’s published horror, romance and narrative nonfiction. Like all writers, Saranna has held a variety of jobs, from operations supervisor for an airline, to an assistant for a call girl, to a corrections officer. But like Hemingway said, “Once writing has become your major vice and greatest pleasure, only death can stop it.” So she traded in her cuffs for a full-time keyboard. She loves to hear from her readers.

http://www.amazon.com/Fat-Labels-Book-Saranna-DeWylde-ebook/dp/B00K23BQEO

www.sarannadewylde.com
www.facebook.com/SarannaDeWylde
www.twitter.com/SarannaDeWylde

Taste Us! You’ll Like Us! Meet Erzabet Bishop and Saranna DeWylde

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Are you excited for the Love Spanks 2014 fun? Official start time is 8 AM EST THIS Friday, February 7. It’s not too late to sign up as an ambassador to earn an extra prize entry, and there is a special prize just for ambassadors. Plus, all ambassadors will receive a public thank with one link of your choice.

Don’t forget there are special prizes for F/F manuscripts. If you are an aspiring F/F author or have always wanted to give F/F a try, here is your chance. 😀

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Welcome! Please tell us a little about yourself.

Hi. I’m Erzabet Bishop and I write erotica of all flavors. You can find me lurking in the steamy pages of several upcoming Cleis anthologies this year, supernatural spookiness in Coming Together: Girl on Girl, sexy zombies, wanton witches and girls that love their naughty crochet. I have a lot of hobbies and I don’t want anyone to get bored.

Some facts about me:

I live a m/f lifestyle but I absolutely love writing f/f fiction and erotica.

I am a dog mom to a wild pack of furry kids.

Watching monster movies with my husband and little puppy Tadpole is one of my most favorite things ever. (Other than snuggling up with a good book and reading that is!)

Pepperoni pizza and orange soda should be a food group.

So should caramel.

How did you come to be part of Love Spanks?

Now that is a long story. I review for BDSM Bookreviews and came across Ana’s first book. I read it and I was hooked. I then found some of Ana’s parties-I think it was the 4th of July party to be exact and that was it. I wanted to read more spanking fiction and began dreaming of a paddle of my very own.

How long have you written F/F, or when did you first consider writing it?

I began writing f/f last year. I’m not even sure what started me out to tell you the truth. I just wanted to write what I wanted to write. To clarify…I write under my real name and Erzabet, my pen name. Under my real name I write YA, horror and children’s books. Under my pen name I am free to explore other things and I am so happy I took the leap and ventured out. I have never been happier.

What are some F/F titles you have written? If you haven’t published or written F/F yet, what are you planning to write?

I will be in a number of Cleis anthologies in 2014. Most of which will be f/f. You can also find my work through Ladylit, Ylva and Naughty Nights. A more complete list is with my biography.

What are some of your favorite F/F books and authors?

Oh wow. I have read so many short stories it is going to be tough to remember them all. I have to say every book I have read from Ylva and Bold Strokes Books has been wonderful. Ladylit as well.

Ana Vitsky for sure. I love her work.

R.G. Emanuelle

Beatrice Donahue in The Blue Hour

Harper Bliss

Diana Marina

What would you like to say to readers who are trying F/F for the first time?

Be open to things beyond m/f in romance and fiction. If you read a mystery novel, it doesn’t mean you are going to run off and kill someone. Same here.  There are some great authors in this genre if you open yourself up to explore the unknown. You may just be pleasantly surprised.

What is your favorite recipe?

One of my favorite things to do is bake and I love a great cookie recipe. It is an annual tradition to hunt down a new cookie recipe for fun. This one has been around for a number of years and served me well.

Chocolate Chip Cookies

¾ cup firmly packed brown sugar

½ cup sugar

½ cup butter softened

½ cup shortening

1 ½ tsp vanilla

1 egg

1 ¾ all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

½ teaspoon salt

6-12 oz chocolate chips

½ cup nuts (optional)

½ cup M&M’s (optional)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Mix sugar, butter and shortening until whipped (spanked) light and fluffy. Sooth it with some vanilla and add in an egg. Beat it again until it is nice and docile. Add the dry ingredients, blending well. Add chocolate chips and candies for a sweet touch. Spoon out with a teaspoon onto a lined cookie sheet. Bake 8 minutes until golden around edges. Just remember to save a few for your sweetie.

Erzabet Bishop has been crafting stories since she could pound keys on her parent’s old typewriter. She has only just learned that it is a whole lot more fun writing naughty books. She is a contributing author to the Silk Words website, A Christmas To Remember, Sweat, When the Clock Strikes Thirteen, Unbound Box, Milk & Cookies & Handcuffs, Holidays in Hell, Corset Magazine: Sex Around the World Issue and Man vs. Machine: The Sex Toy Issue, Smut by the Sea Volume 2, Hell Whore Volume 2, Can’t Get Enough (upcoming, Cleis), Slave Girls (upcoming, Cleis) Anything She Wants, Dirty Little Numbers, Kink-E magazine, Coming Together: Girl on Girl, Shifters and Coming Together: Hungry for Love among others. She is the author of Lipstick, Dinner Date, Sigil Fire (coming from Ylva in 2014), The Erotic Pagans Series: Beltane Fires, Samhain Shadows and Yuletide Temptation. She lives in Texas with her husband, furry children and can often be found lurking in local bookstores. She loves to bake, make naughty crochet projects and watch monster movies.

Follow her reviews and posts on Twitter @erzabetbishop.

Links:

ARE: https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-yuletidetemptation-1364526-149.html

Ylva Author Page: http://www.ylva-publishing.com/ylva-verlag-e.kfr.–erzabet-bishop.html

Naughty Nights Author Page: http://naughtynightspress.com/nnpstore2/index.php?main_page=index&manufacturers_id=28

Unbound Box Dessert Comes First Flash Fiction: https://unboundbox.com/magazine/blog/posts/dessert-comes-first

Liz McMullen episode: http://www.thelizmcmullenshow.com/lbs_episode18/

BDSM Friendbook: http://www.bdsmfriendbook.com/profile-5760/

About Me: http://about.me/erzabet.bishop/#

Facebook “like” page: https://www.facebook.com/erzabetbishopauthor

Author WordPress blog: http://erzabetbishop.wordpress.com/

Amazon author page: http:// amazon.com/author/erzabetbishop/

Fetlife: https://fetlife.com/users/1709729

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6590718.Erzabet_Bishop

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/erzabet.bishop

Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/erzabetbishop/

Blog: http://erzabetsenchantments.blogspot.com/

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=210218566&trk=nav_responsive_tab_profile

Author Database: http://authorsdb.com/authors-directory/2690-erzabet-bishop

Authors to Watch: http://www.profiles.authorstowatch.com/2013/05/erzabet-bishop.html

LoveSpanks2014

Saranna DeWylde

Welcome! Please tell us a little about yourself. Thanks so much for having me. A little about me? These questions always make me feel all weird and itchy. I never know what to say. The main thing about me I suppose is that I’m always writing. Even if I’m talking to you, even if I’m making dinner, even if I’m at a doctor’s appointment. Everything inspires me, or shows me something new about a character I didn’t know before. Incidentally, if you ever meet me in person and I just space out–like someone hit the reset button–that’s what happened. I’m writing in my head and forgot all about the functioning in the real world part.

How did you come to be part of Love Spanks? Ana invited me to join Love Spanks and she’s clearly awesome, so I did. I love meeting new people and new readers.

How long have you written F/F, or when did you first consider writing it? I can’t say definitively when I first considered writing it. I’ve always had all kinds of stories in my head. Sometimes they were m/f, sometimes they were m/m and sometimes they were f/f. When I say I write romance, I don’t mean I just write heterosexual romance. I write about love and everyone falls in love. I try to stay true to the story, to those voices in my head. (I’m not schizophrenic, promise.)

What are some F/F titles you have written? If you haven’t published or written F/F yet, what are you planning to write? The only one I’ve published thus far has been Too Bad About Your Girl, but I have a new release coming called The Bodyguard which we’re giving away here before release. (YAY). I plan on writing as many stories that come to me.

What are some of your favorite F/F books and authors? Sarah Waters’ Tipping the Velvet is one of my absolute favorites. And I love everything by Sarah Diemer.

What would you like to say to readers who are trying F/F for the first time? That if you like stories about people finding passion, or love, that the mechanics of it don’t really matter so much. Sex, intimacy, romance, lust, they’re universal. We can all identify with those feelings. There will be good writers and not so good writers, there will be stories that resonate with you and stories that don’t–just like with any other genre.

What is your favorite recipe? I don’t have a favorite recipe at the moment. Food and I have broken up and we’re not really speaking. I’m pretty much allergic to everything I used to love and I’m learning a new way to eat. I haven’t quite found a way to enjoy it yet. I did try a paleo mousse that wasn’t so terrible. 1 can of coconut milk, full fat, chilled for 12 hours 1/4 cup of cacao powder 1 individual packet of Stevia in the raw 1 splash of pure vanilla Put it in the food processor until blended, chill overnight and viola… mostly paleo mousse. It was pretty tasty. And if you freeze it, you have a dairy free ice cream.

Also include your typical author bio and social media links.
Saranna De Wylde has always been fascinated by things better left in the dark. She wrote her first story after watching The Exorcist at a slumber party. Since then, she’s published horror, romance and narrative nonfiction. Like all writers, Saranna has held a variety of jobs, from operations supervisor for an airline, to an assistant for a call girl, to a corrections officer. But like Hemingway said, “Once writing has become your major vice and greatest pleasure, only death can stop it.” So she traded in her cuffs for a full-time keyboard. She loves to hear from her readers. Keep up with releases, events and access to special content by signing up the Saranna DeWylde newsletter here: https://www.facebook.com/sarannadewylde/app_100265896690345 www.facebook.com/SarannaDeWylde www.twitter.com/SarannaDeWylde www.sarannadewylde.com

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